Friday, December 26, 2008

Time with the TV

If BITSian life has changed one thing, that is the addiction to Television. Over the entire semester, other than the occasional cricket match or the hyped up EPL matches(I am just a beginner to football viewing, only watching when one of the big 4 plays, and am still confused about what an offside is), the idiot box is left to itself. 

So when I come home during holidays, and there's nothing better to do, channel surfing is the best hobby, and things have changed. 

Where the one channel for all times used to be Cartoon Network, it's now Zee News. It's taken the prize for the most entertaining channel by far. its amazing how even the silliest of news items are reported as earth-shattering catastrophes. Remember, that Shiv Sena crap few months ago(of course you don't, too much has been happenning in Mumbai to keep count, but still..) its a fact that there were more television reporters there than activists. Awesome right.

Then, there's the reporting and re-reporting of statements of cricketers and celebrities. Once there was this one line that Aamir Khan said about Shahrukh, and they had a half hour show on it. Its a defficultdeed, mind you. Having so less content but wasting an hour of the viewers' time. Barack Obama is an expert at this, give him one line to present, and he will embellish it with talk of change and how we must all stay united and blah blah blah... and the crowd will go wild regardless of what he says. Brilliant fellow.

Then the ads. Oh, they just make my day. Just yesterday, I saw this ad of Microsoft. The dad buys his son original mocrosoft ofice(stress on original, we college students know why they stress it right.. hehe) and then he became bright and his cupboard began filling with trophies and certificates. Imagine that... and parents actually fall for it. If that were true, apan PCr waale, who work on office all the time, would be all 10ps man. I'll tell juniors to advetise next time, "Join PCr and see your CGPA go through the roof"

Another of my favourite ones, is the mother having two sons, one brilliant in acads, and one great at sports. But the bitch still wants them both to be all-rounders. So she feeds them Tiger biscuits with IronZor. This ad epitomises parents' attitude in India. They want more more more.
Its ads llike these that are responsible for children commiting suicide after results.... Guess I've gone too far so lets leave that.

But the thing occupying prime time these days(other than the saas bahu serials, which I detest so much and consider to be such a time waste that I am going to ignore them, not wanting to waste my blogging time. I am even considering suing Ekta Kapoor for the time I have wasted waiting for my mother to serve dinner and for the unnatural slowness of the storyline, not to forget stupid cinematography and plots that defy the laws of Physics and Biology... but that's for later). 

Yeah, I was talking of the singing and dance shows. All of a sudden everyone in India is a singer, every fucking one. The barber, cobbler, the coolies, the office clerk... all of them. They all come onto Zee, Sony, Star where they study from Gurus(most of whose credibility I doubt, imagine Himesh Reshammiya teaching the next generation of singers, I'd prefer to be guillotined, at least its more dramatic) and are criticised everyday and are put to vote, so that the janta can choose their next superstar. Here the contestants plead for votes saying things like, "Mere bacche bhookh se mar rahe hain, meri maa ke operation ke liye paise nahin hain, Mijhe AIDS hai.. " and crap like that. And if that wasn't enough they've got children into the act too. God save India!

But the cream of the cake is... Tele... wait for it.. shopping. Yes, Teleshopping Network. The best thing on TV since the news of its invention. It so much fun, watching stupid silly white people showing cooking apparatus, cutting and slicing their way through carrots, acting shocked one silly demonstration after another, and that too dubbed in Hindi. Its hilarious... and the fact that it is not meant to be so, makes it even better.

Hot models who are so thin that I bet their daily diet includes smelling.. yes just smelling other people's plates, standing proudly next to the The Supertrimmer, and giving that brilliantly sterotyped "pehle main aise thi. par ab main aise hoon" speech week after week, each time with a different instrument. Then the voice comes on saying that if you order right now you will get this and that free along with a discount. The same ads come on every week. I wonder if anyone has ever actually orderd anything from these people, if you do know someone, gimme his number, I'd love to talk to him.

Chalo then bye for now. This topic is not yet exhausted but I am.... and probably you are too. So lets just call it a day... or night... or... whatever. Just go! 

1 comment:

  1. Quite sarcastic with your posts..

    In our initial days of BITS the common room was always crowded with people vying for the remote. That's when there were fewer desktops and the wing having a desktop being the privileged one..

    Two years into BITS, the desktops have become more common, leaving the common rooms deserted except for occasional cricket matches as you put it..

    I guess laptops must have completely replaced the desktops now..

    ReplyDelete

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I am Arjun P. Kamath, and I am a nice guy to know.