Monday, February 23, 2009

My first marathon

Whew! that's one more thing ticked off from my list of things to do before I die. That list is pretty long waise. The other recent ones I ticked off were, fooling a large section of an intelligent society for a year(I did that in my 3rd year at BITS), get a massage from a massuese(??), improve my memory and a few more that I can't remember.

So it was 7.30 and I was at the F1 pit lane, the race started from there(there there F1 fans, I know life is unfair, but some of us-like me- are just better, smarter and more handsome than others-like you, so go ahead and bag your head on the wall, it will all be alright once you return from MedC). There were like a million cyclists, totally appropriate and overly loud music(they were playing Nelly Furtado's 'Say It Right' for Heavens(or Kashmir* for atheists) sake(I know the Kashmir joke was criminal but sorry folks, I've already typed it)), a curiously accented announcer(his voice was a mix between a totla and a popat) whose jokes would fail to make Siddhu laugh... oh wait, I'm sorry, I think he already is.

The race was great, I mean for the people who were racing. I was more like a spectator, with a great seat of the action. Though the participants weren't allowed to get along music players(by which logic I should've been allowed) I had plenty of music to hear, the WOOs of the woo-girls stationed to cheer us up and boy! did they succeed, every time I saw them, I was like standing on the pedals and pumping hard, and as soon as they were out of sight, back to pedaling just to keep balance, then there were the whooshes and wheens of overtaking cyclists, which btw was an extreme test of my self-confidence, if I had any less, I'd have jumped and drowned into the Singapore River. Then of course, the chirping of birds, rustling of leaves, and internal self loathing at watching 50 year-olds overtaking you. But no sweat, there is always the escape route, the excuse theory. This theory states that, in any case of utter failure, the feeling of badness, is inversely proportional to the number of excuses you make(however atrocious and irrelevant) to justify your performance. Being an active follower of this theory, my mind was set to work even during the race, and that's my excuse no.1, I was thinking so much with my over-active oversmart brain, that the blood flow was insufficient for my legs, hence I didn't perform optimally.

Some more follow,
2. There were too many photographers on the way and I didn't want to deny them a prize shot.
3. I started slow to save my energy for the end, but since there weren't any signboards of the no. of kms left, by the time I was ready for the push, I had already been through 39km.
4. There were too many woo girls and all the blood that my heart pumped went to you-know-where.
5. I didn't want the others to feel demoralized.
6. I did it for the children( a very versatile excuse, fits every occasion)
7. I was too busy admiring the countryside, to do any serious riding. The others have no idea what they've lost.
8. Its not about winning or losing, its about the spirit of participation.(my all time favourite, never fails)
9. I was just warming up for my next marathon, can't put all your effort the first time right?
10. I came first from behind(lol, this is one we used to tell each other as kids!)

If you want more, just use your imagination, and me, this theory works. Try it!

Just after crossing the finish line, the sun came out... (there's another one, 11. My Kryptonian energy cells never got activated) and the kids race started. They did give us all gold medals(see excuse no. 8) and we took all sorts of pics, from the pit lane :P

Apparently, Tiger Balm was a sponsor of the event and they had professional masseurs providing FREE massages to all those interested and to Indians (that was a joke, so giggle) Needless to say I went straight ot that counter and got a coupon.

During the massage, I did get reminded of that touching sad movie of a lonely guy who finds his true love while getting a massage. I think I need to watch it today, truly do. Seriously man, awesome movie.

Ahhh, I am getting distracted, so suffice to say that it was a wonderful experience and I thoroughly enjoyed it- although my extremely desensitized groin area would beg to differ. All in all, it was a nice awakening of my preparation level for the real test, the Sundown Marathon. There I have to actually run 42km, and though my groin area would be pleased not to be in the hot seat, I hope the rest of me doesn't crumple like that villain robot in Terminator 2 after the now California Governor shotguns him(Okay! that was seriously bad, sorry I didn't sleep enough last night)

*For those who didn't get this joke, isn't it said that the Kashmir Valley is heaven on Earth. If you still didn't get it, thank you for voting for me.

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I am Arjun P. Kamath, and I am a nice guy to know.