Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Green Man

On my way home from office listening to 94.3 Radio One, maximum Music fataphat, music fataphat, between Ghanta Singh's rantings and ads of Reliance's anniversary sales... as I sat stupefied, mystified and mesmerised by the sheer stupidity of Bangalore's public, who'd rather trample over another human than reach home a quarter of a second later, a thought entered my mind. What do we need here?

By the time the Metro finishes Bangalore's population would anyway have increased making it obsolete, wider roads would mean half of Bangalore would be living on the street, and better traffic sense.. HAA... why don't we just wish for a flying carpet or... a time machine or maybe more understanding managers or... better yet that people like Shahid Kapoor be wiped off the face of the earth.

No, what we need is a super hero. One who can save us from ourselves, one who will have great power and great responsibility, who will show us that the human spirit can beat all odds, one who will teach us to be strong in the face of adversity and intolerant towards all evil.

Gotham has Batman, because it's villains ruled the night, Spiderman lives in NY where there are tall buildings from him to dangle from and Superman is... sorry the movie cryptonited his girly ass, let's wait for the next movie and then comment. Bangalore's hero will be Green Man, and will work 8 to 9(when the traffic villains are at their peak)

Picture this... You're on you way home on Friday and a quarter of your weekend is about to be spent waiting for the green light at Brigade or Trinity, and all of a sudden you feel a tingle in the air and look up to the sky. Is it a plane, is it a bird, is it a greenhouse activist??? no it's Greenman to the rescue(dam da da da dum... tada dada dada)

He shakes hands with the Traffic policeman, 'I'll handle it from here' and in super Bruce Almighty style just sweeps all the traffic off your path; the girls go wild, mothers have tears in their eyes and kids are... well still begging while Red man(what else did you think the villain's name would be) gesticulating in agony, 'Oh! you f%$^ing little bi%^ch, I'll get you next time'

If there's a truck driver who honks like he gets paid for it, Green man will just pick up his truck and scuttle it into the Bellandur lake(GRE wordlist#45) and if there's a cement truck taking a u-turn in a tiny lane, blocking the whole junction, he'll just blow it up. HAHAHA!!

His sidekick Yellow man(plzz tell me this doesn't surprise you) and sweetheart 'Clear way' help him foil the evil masteminds like Blowjam, Puncture and Road dust. Maybe I could even write some comic series about it and then sell it right for loads of money and fame. Naah! I may just get chetanned!

To be chetanned: to be made a fool of publicly for undervaluing one's own assets and then having the contract proclaiming your obtuseness shoved into your face. n. chetan

About Me

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I am Arjun P. Kamath, and I am a nice guy to know.