Monday, December 15, 2008

It's official now, I don't have AIDS!!!

As usual, before I come to the topic, I would like to express some weird emotion. Today it is surprise. Surprise at how much I have become a blogger, and how addicted I have become to this new-found hobby. It so brilliant now, there suddenly seems so much to write about. I have begun to live from a blogging point of view. No no, its not like I need to be before the monitor screes 24x7, actually its just hr opposite.

Basically there are two noticeable changes. Every time something happens that's even remotely funny, out of the ordinary or just plain unusual, something devilish awakens inside. I hunch back my shoulders, lick my lips, stare desirously and rub my hands with glee(I don't actually do it, its just a picture I like to paint for myself), thinking about how I'd blog about it and how challenging it would be to present this bland incident into something really worthwhile.

The second is everytime an opportunity to do something different presents itself, I grab it without a second's thought(or a second thought... whatever appeals to you) hoping that whatever happens, whether I fail or succeed(in the above mentioned differentiating opportunity) I will most definitelt blog about it, and feel good.

Most surprisingly, I don't have to go around looking for topics, things just happen, as they always did. I am just more observant. Try it, I'm sure you'd feel the same.

Waise, today's topic belongs to the first category of incidents, and my next post, "Conversation with a pimp" belongs to the second.

Though I'm sure a lot of you would like me to post the second one first, I'm not going to. Why? Just to show that I blog for myself, and don't care whether I am read or red(hehe, I meant to type read or not, but the typo was too silly to backspace). To prove that I am unaffected by my reader count(though I visit it everyday, :) when it rises and :( when it falls)

Here goes. Some of you may know, and some may not, some on hearing it would smile and be happy for me, while others would dart my face mentally with choicest fleeting expletives( for non GRE-ites), going !@#$%^. But I am going to Singapore and there isn't a darn thing you can do. HEHE, lite lo, just kidding.

As part of my VISA application, I was required to undergo a few tests, and guess what the Ministry of Manpower requires people seeking an employment pass to undergo a chest x-ray and an HIV blood test. When I first read it, first I re-read it, and then told everybody about it. Though it's nothing extraordinary, it just... I don't know.. it felt like something different.

As it was too late I had to get it done here in Goa, so the day after I arrived I went to the family doctor. I took my mom along, as she knew him and hopefully that would help us jump the queue(don't you bloody make that face, we all do it, I am just admitting it).

Now this trick worked, and I went in ahead of half a dozen people of all possible, shapes, sizes, colours, ages, dental conditions, clothing tastes, even genders(hehe, just made up the last one). A post could be written on the 5 minutes that I waited in line, but not even my enemies deserve this brutal a punishment, so I'll let that pass.

I explained to the doctor, what needed to be done. He scribbled HIV and chest X-ray on two slips. Which slip said what, I couldn't figure, but I'm not a pharmacist right(I guess they'd need to have a course on handwriting recognition in pharmacy colleges from what I have seen them reading from) I remember once, when a doctor apparently spit on my prescription(given that he used a red pen, that's the closest simile I could think of) but the pharmacist had no problem at all getting my the right stuff.

Coming back... where were we? Oh yes, there was a pathology lab on the ground floor of the building with the doctor's clinic(aren't there always.. and yes, you guessed it, a pharmacy too). It looked more like a bar than a lab.. but then again, this is Goa we're talkig about. Who knows what happens there at night? :)

Now here comes the funny part. The person in charge, was a young nurse in cheap party wear(I swear that's what I thought when I first saw her) and when I entered my mom was with me :) . No, the situation wasn't awkward, it was just a stupid thing that needed to be done, but the nurse didn't know this.

When I showed her the slip, she looked at me and them at my mom, and gave an awkward smile. It struck me a little later, and it was hilarious. I'm sure she must've thought, "What a supportive mother!!" I couldn't stop giggling, but somehow composed myself. It got even better when she asked me questions like, How old are you? Where do you live? and Have you had this test before? I guess seeing my mom there, she's didn't probe further, else I'm sure she would have asked, When did it happen? Did you use a ...? And if it was a male nurse. Was it worth it? HEHEHE. And seeing my adventurous form lately, I'm sure I would have given some worthy answers.

The test took little over 5 minutes, and I was determined to get more out of the situation. Before she came out, I asked my mom to wait outside near the bike. When the nurse came out with the report in a sealed envelope, I feigned a worried look and for extra points tried to shiver my hands as though the envelope held the key to my future. Of course, she was smiling. I furst wore a worried look, but smiled only after her smile and made sure she noticed my awkward delayed smile turning into a full fledged joyous grin, on opening the envelope.

Nothing as eventful happenned with the chest X-ray. Just that I would have liked to face the camera when he took my pic. LOL... no guys I'm not drunk.

Later on the day, Katiyar calls me to ask about the HIV test result. What a bastard!!

About Me

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I am Arjun P. Kamath, and I am a nice guy to know.