Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My second marathon..

There are several things that your 2nd marathon teaches you. Point is, after the first one, you are too busy feeling arrogant, conceited and full of bullshit like "I felt like giving up, but kept saying to myself, just 21km left", "It's all about mind over body" to really sit and think about the whole thing.

Even otherwise, the pain is so..... how shall I put it, painful, yup, painful is the apt word that one begins to hear one's body parts swearing aloud. The soles scream and thighs weep, your feet will be kicking at you, your calves and arms will be writhing in pain and the poor knees will be hollering like a teenage girl who has just lost her phone, or a teenage guy whose girlfriend has just lost her phone. And in all this chaos, you forget that it's the poor ankles that have done most of the work, and nobody seems to have the time to give them a pat on the back.

So anyways, here's my 2 cents, or 3 or 4, whatever makes you feel good. You know what; a penny sounds better, yes, here's my penny or rather 2 of.... ahem, the plural of penny :P

1. Age does not matter, I mean, there were guys clearly in their 50 and 60s, doing 100km runs while I was feeling like teenage Bill Gates landing his IBM deal doing 50.

2. The importance of self start in your bike (:) ) I always considered it lowly and non-masculine not to kick start your bike. After the run, the joy that I felt starting my bike with my thumb was like ahhhhh......

3. It is easiest to converse with strangers when both parties involved are getting their guts spilt on the ground for the same reason. You tend to relate very easily. Other examples of this would be prisoners, fresh MBA grads joining a big bank, your wingies in college, married men etc.

4. Winning doesn't matter, as long as you feel god and enjoy it(that's for my young, hopeful and full of enthusiastic readers, the rest know how it feels when an old man beats you all colours of the rainbow and actually encourages you at the end... the patronizing senile sexagenerian!)

5. There is no dearth of lunatics in this world, if you though 50k is stupid, there were about half a dozen or more doing 100 and one lost soul who ran for 24 hours straight! Crazy right?

6. Men will be men & like wise for women. The female runners were made-up and the men were still doing what they do in malls.

7. You can just not forgive yourself if you give up midway. Though I didn't exactly experience this, the sheer anticipation of this feeling of loserness, kept me going.

8. Some dangerous things can be tried at home :)

9. Beer tastes awesome! especially after a long run on an empty stomach.

10. Never eat aloo-chat, or chowmein or dosas on chat street the night before you plan to run the longest distance in your life.

11. Contrary to what everyone might say, it is REALLY difficult to run long distances! Trust me on this. But you will enjoy the pain during the run and the great feeling after the run. Its the pain after the run that inconveniences you. But by then you really can't really do anything can you.

12. Never listen to bloggers, they tend to exaggerate and self-glorify, but then who doesn't :)

13. People who've run one marathon are good, those who've run more than one are awesome but those who blog about it, are legen- wait for it, till you realise that this post is getting a wee bit patronizing/condescending and don't want to read this anymore, but can't really help as you've come to the end-dary!

NOTE: BITSAA is organising a world 5/10k run in the first week of December, open to all alumni. Guess who's volunteered in Bangalore :) So if you're interested, do join bits2marathon yahoo group, and if you're not, go get a dip in Koramangala ki nalli!

Friday, November 13, 2009

OASIS, an after thought

"It's either now or 25 years later" I kept telling everyone."C'mon people, it's Pilani and OASIS. I can't believe I am having to convince you of this. OASIS man!" I kept repeating. I few got bored and stopped receiving my calls. Others changed their numbers, and a few let their dogs smell my laundry. But a few, who shared my awesomeness, namely Rushi, Ganju and BD gave me hope. However I must point out biggest morons, those that agree first, with all the enthusiasm of a 6 year-old American boy on Christmas eve, but later claim to have other engagements. To all of them, I dedicate my lovely middle finger, 'coz thats all they deserve.

So how was OASIS? I won't use words like awesome, delirious, out-of-the world, ammmmmazing et al. Because that wouldn't describe how I felt. IT FELT LIKE HOME. How long has it been, like 10 months, and it felt like I would just enter Bhag, get into my room and log onto DC++ :) Seriously, people it was a great feeling. I wasn't even nostalgic, it just felt right. All of it.

That it was OASIS, didn't matter one bit. That there was greenery around in the desert town didn't matter, though I had a bit of it around me too :). That there was the clock tower, to tell me the time, although the 4 faces disagreed, that there were profs who smiled at me without any hesitation, that there were juniors and batchmates that hugged me like we still stayed a mere 10 feet away, yes all that mattered.

KK, Lucky Ali, Shankar/Ehsaan/Loy, come and go, OASIS, APOGEE come and go, Goa campus, Hyd campus come and go. But the clock tower though doesn't have any bells, will forever ring in this heart!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Nike Human Race- awesum!

I don't use the word awesome, very often. Though I often lie in my first sentence in any blog post. However, truth is, I don't use awesome for things where I haven't been involved in the awesoming(the things done before an event, with a goal of making the event awesome). However I will make an exception here.

If my some technological development, google maps would give you a video feed from high above; on the 24th of october 2009 you would see masses of red dots collecting in 27 cities of the world, moving together but fading away. For the uninformed, it might look like Marsians have done a War of the Worlds, but actually it was the largest race in the world.

Bangalore was lucky enough to be a venue of this huge event, and I was lucky enough to be in Bangalore during this time. The event was organised by Nike for the second year running and first time in Bangalore. NIKE almost threw away money to try and get the sport of running in vogues here. The huge participation, is I believe, exactly what they were aiming at.

Yudi was the host, though I wasn't very impressed, and there were also, Anju Bobby George, Mahesh Bhupati and Sreesanth, who didn't impress with their talk either. The entertainment was...... entertaining :) and the band(from Goa) was pretty darn good.

All and all a spectacular event, not to be missed. So those who run, and missed this, should feel like kicking themselves in their behinds!! :)

Waise, my timing was 58 minutes and 52 seconds :) just below an hour! yeyeye

Monday, October 19, 2009

Trip Down South!

There's this thing about reporting something. It's never true. I mean seriously! Not matter how much you try, you can never hide that hint of exaggeration, that bit of hypocrisy, that iota of prejudice and given that the 'truness' of any statement is binary, nothing one 'reports' of an event is true. And you know what, one shouldn't really. I mean, what if you somehow tell the story from your point of view. So what? You were there, and you have every right to paint whatever picture you want to, and the if readers haven't been there it's their fault. After all, there's always, "Conditions apply". The audience knows this. You now that the audience knows this, and the audience again (only the smart ones) knows that you know that they know it. Smarter ones go further into the abyss, but if I have to spell it for you, then I guess we all know where you stop.

The same applies to blogging, in fact to a much higher degree, because the facts cannot(in most cases) possibly be verified. Again the audience knows this and of the consequent loop. So even if the blogger tries his/her best to be true to the facts, the audience is always ready with it's jar of salt. So what you have is a conundrum of the highest nature. It's much easier for a single blogger to actually stay true to himself and the audeince and his experiences, as compared to an honest newsreporter, who is 'worried' by a boss, who is in turn 'worried' by TRP ratings. But the audience can hardly be discerning. So it's the poor old blogger who has to bear the
brunt. ME! I can say that I didn't exaggerate anything about my Singaporean odyssey, my first marathon, my kayaking down river Mekong in Laos, or bungying down Macau tower. For all you know, I might have been hiding in a cave in Jhumri Talaiyya(hope it's spelt right, English spellings can be so darn stupid sometimes). But the problem persists. I recently returned from a wonderful wonderful trip meandering the southern Indian peninsula, and I have to think twice about blogging about it, for fear of the usage of condiments by my readers. So I am going to rid myself
of prose this time. No similes, no fruity language(flowery is so cliche, so yesterday), no words of embellishment, no sarcasm(stop smirking, I can do it, seriously I can, just watch me do it, or read it, rather)

Here goes, but a few facts first. We took photographs, lots and lots of photos(2066 in all over 5 days). So many that, Paris Hilton bhi sharma jaye(dammit!!). So I am going to use a Key. An asterix[*] in the text implies that we took photos at that point of time. Then, yeah it was a 2500km odd trip by Qualis, driven by Mr.Ramachandran, who started off as a grumpy old man but in the end we became beer buddies(without the beer! alright, alright. I can't d
o it).

1. On 29th September, me(serial photographer), Spanish Surd, serial photographee(Sabbu, urf Sabeshwar), mard ladka, and Bandeshwar left Bangalore at 8 am or something.

2. Went first to Hogenakkal waterfalls.*.Not very impressed with the arsenic glued, black bottomed, circular boat ride, so went on a short death defying trek on sharp rocks, with water gushing around us, where a single wrong step could leave us bleeding to death, all the usual guy stuff. We didn't take the 'tel maalish' as
the dark and bald people seemed to have been taking it their whole lives, without any improvement in terms of fairness nor hair growth.

3. *.Reached Coimbatore that evening, to pick up ladakh-returned, who as his name says had just returned from a 15 day trip Ladakh. (Yeah, he works for a company, and no he's not fired, at least not yet). He had a D-SLR which alongwith my Olympus mu-1040 made up our arsenal of digital shooting.

4. That night we had a little party. Chicken Chettinaad(it had some 4 types of chillies), and chicken kadhai(in a real kadhai) and some liquid to cleanse our insides, in preparation for the long trip ahead :)

5. Reached Marayoor and stayed the night. We could have gone to Munnar, but there were wild elephants on the road, and we decided that we'd had enough adventure for the day, so we let the elephants be.

6. Morning, around Munnar.*.Cutting through Echo Point,* and Mattupetty Dam *, we reached Top Station. Saw a brilliant rainbow, ****. On the way had the most orange carrots ever and home made chocolate. Munnar is famous for its huge stretches of tea gardens, and is in the Kerala district of Idukki.

7. We wanted to go south to Kerala, but one of ladakh-returned's friends, had said that Madhurai was a nice place so we took the next left into Tamil Nadu. Sabbu lost his cool and stomach and its insides on several occasions, on account of the rough roads and his smooth tummy.

8. Asked a posh hotel for a cheap place to stay, and were directed there with a smile. When we went inside, our smiles vanished.

9. Morning we got looted at the Madhurai temple. Hinduism has some 2 million Gods. So you either pray to all of them, or pay others to do it for you. This temple is spread over 15 acres, and is dedicated to a form of Goddes Parvati, and has the most colourful Gopurams. ** inside and ***** outside the temple.

10. Near the temple is a place where you get wonderful traditional halwa. But the shop opens only after 11.30 am,which we found that the hard way.

11. Next stop Rameshwaram. Inspected the site of Ram Setu, to see if things were going fine. They were. There was a very very long beach, which made the place seem lke an endles desert. Here, *********************************. We visited the Rameshwar dham, and so after my dupki in Haridwar, quarter of my sins have been atoned for. There's too much to write about the dhams, so just google it, its an interesting story.

12. On the way to Kanyakumari, we had another round of stomach cleansing. My tummy was especially troublesome, and so I took an overdose, which turned out to be just that.

13. Woke up in Kanyakumari, and guess where we went. We gussed one island because it seemed too rocky. Went to the other by ferry and *****.

14. Now we started up into Kerala. On the way is a famous temple that has Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh, all in a single place. This is supposed to be the only place for this. And a 20 foot hanuman statue too, which that particular day was white with ghee.

15. We had a slightly disappointing day here, lots of anticlimaxes. So we just drove on, and got to a beach. Some of us needed some more cleansing, but mine was already clean as a whistle. Thankfully the accommodation was nice.

16. Early morning at 10am we left the place and drive towards the backwaters. Ellappy was the destination and there I fell in love with Kerala. A 4 hour long boat ride along the backwaters, left me mermerised and inundated with joy. It was quiet but there was music in the air. I had never been to this place but I felt more at home than in Bangalore. If then you had said that there were floods and we were stuck there for a week, I would jump with joy.(Actually, around this time, there was in fact a flood scare in Kerala and an actual flood more to the north, that we all know of now) *******************

17. This was Saturday now and we went as far as Cochi. There looking for KFC we found a local FKC(Fried Krispy Chicken) where you get Chicken baskets and Zinker burgers. Our table was a battle field, between 6 hungry battleworn soldiers and about a dozen chickens. I don't think the waiters or the other witesses can ever forget us. I think you might find a photograph of our table hung over the wall some day.

18. Now we had two options, either sleep in a cozy room in Coimbatore, or drive all the way to Bangalore and sleep in the car, where we might break our backs and necks. Guess again what we chose.

19. Back to Bangalore, Sunday morning. Dhan Te Dan.

All the facts about places, I remember, and am not referring to Google or anything. But then, you wouldn't believe me. We might have not gone for a trip at all. But then, you would have to admit, Jhumri Talaiyya is one heck of a place.

JOSCO ROX!! You won't get this one, unless you were there. Right guys!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

C'mon just 1km left, and you're half my age, pick yourself up, boy!!

There's more than just the obvious difference between a half and a full marathon. The full requires uncalculable mental strength, calm and composure and above a threshold fitness and below a base age (both of which me and many of my readers can with just a little effort can satisfy) is hardly much of a physical thing.

Everyone gets screwed somewhere between the 'ye ye I have finished 20km already and I think I can finish in good time' and the 'Why the fuck did I let that guy talk me into this, there's 17km left, maybe I'll quit'. But then you just go on!

A half marathon almost never seems way too much, '21km hmmm, I think I can do it'. Frankly it isn't. But unlike a full, it's not so much about finishing it than about actually doing a reasonably good time. Also, it's a great way to test your fitness, not just the run but the time you take to recover.

Alright, so how was the run. Absolutely amazing. I've said it before and I say it again, a marathon is one of the few places where you actually find your competitors cheering you on and that too sincerely, and it actually working on you. Though it is mostly a kick to your ego, when the cheering is done by someone double your age, or more.

This is usually what leads to many youngsters getting injured and giving up altogether :) When someone who looks like your grandma smiles and says, "C'mon young man, only 2km more to go. Come along, I'll run with you", you have very little choice.

The running route was spectacular. 7 in the morning running along the Kaveri basin, with the meandering river snaking its way on your left and lush green fields and untouched hills to your right, there are very few things that can beat that. This was a trail marathon, implying that the terrain isn't the usual tarred road, but the actual natural route through fields, across make-shift wooden bridges and mud paths. Though the bus ride before and after the run left a lot of undesirables, overall it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Thanks to the organisers of the Kaveri Trail Marathon, I'd love to do it again, and the full one this time. Also heartfelt thanks to Ladke(Prateek Yadav -a first timer who beat me and showed me that practice is neither enough nor necessary for all), Miyaan(Jatin Rastogi-who is currently so thin, I think he'd have lost half his body weight-about 2 kilos-during the run) and Ashwani(Ashwani-nothing really funny about him, just a fun loving guy like me)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Why I run!

Have you ever had that feeling in hindsight of something stupid and silly that you did, that you had it coming, that though its signs were ambiguous and undecipherable, you could have forseen it but then you say things to yourself like, "Ohh" and "aahha" and "o'course". Such an awesome thing happenned to me lately.

My company has a basketball team, and like my usual over-zealous over-enthued self, I go there, though everyone else is leagues better than me. I've been there a couple of times to practice, and being a company where people actually do work, its difficult to get people to gather at 7am on a Saturday morning, to run around a ball and shoot it through a hoop. One Friday morning the captain got enthued and mailed all participants to confirm their presence, so I thought 'waah, ab to mast log aayenge'. SO next morning at 7:15 sharp I reach the place dragging my sorry ass along, only to find that everybody had intercommunicated their inability and disinclination to play an outdoor game after a rainy morning. Those who didn't get the message understood it implicitly. And those who didn't, implicitly or explicitly, got made a fool of. ME. Not if that wasn't funny enough, and if the smart ones among you don't think this incident fits the description above, be patient. Yup, so next week I get apologies from a few people and one mal asking me whether I'd be free for a match next Saturday. Guess what I answered. :) Over the next few e-mails, we discussed the venue, I expressed my curiosity on selecting a team without formal selections, and reported on hoe much I had played the last few months. This involved the exchange of about a dozen e-mails over 2 days, the last one enquiring about whether I was a better batsman or bowler. Main hua hairaan pareshaan! Then I went through our e-mails and realised that neither had we mentioned the sport nor did I notice that my contact had never been to practice. I hope the rest is clear, and I don't have to explain the whole situation, like the careless villain does to the detective when he knows he has the upper hand, only to be upper-cut by the hero later, by a curious set of circumsances. If the last sentence confused you even more, do consider getting a job at an NGO, you're not fit for your technical job.

So chapter 2, haan, so lots of people have recently increduously asked me why I have taken such a liking for running. "Kya milta hai tere ko?" is something I am often asked. My answer is usually, that I enjoy it, but that doesn't seem to satisfy anyone. Now, if I ask you why you study? You'll say to get good grades, or to get an attractive package and the like? Why do you go to office? So my manager gets impressed, so I can see that cute girl/guy or the boring, to earn money? Why do you eat, to satisfy your hunger? The point is, almost everything you do is because you want something else, and then something more and the cycle continues. Seriously, wait for a moment and ask yourself how many things that you do, do you do, just to do it, just for the sake of it. You will realise that there are actually many such things,mostly involving a sport or game, but as you grow older, love and desire and fun get replaced by necessity and responsibility and the need for security. So why do I run? Because I like to run! FULLSTOP!

Personal milestones:
1. The 5km relay went well, we reached late, one guy didn't wake up in time. So our first runner ran 10 minutes late and without any warm-up.
2. Have registered for half marathon, Kaveru Trail marathon, and more importantly got three of m friends too to run wth me :)
3. Bought a skipping rope and am going ballistic, well not literally. Do take my words with a pinch of salt, I do exaggerate a little
4. Went to Nandi Hills and Hokenaggal falls, last weekend, after a friend suggested it about a day before the trip. Awesome na!
5. Bought a skateboard, HEHE, finally. So along with how many km I run, my updates will include number of ribs broken.

PS: I am no longer going to flirt openly through my blog :)

Friday, August 14, 2009

What's a damn daffodil?

Bangalore is a cool city, you know other than the traffic and the infrastructure and the high prices and the... you know what, let's just keep it at that. It's a cool city,hmmm , that's better and there's plenty to do, when you're not in office. But you have to be innovative. You see, you can't keep asking for Deepika to wear skimpy clothes on the silver screen, or for one more shot of vodka/tequila. Not that, these aren't entertaining, they very much are, but that's not utilising
the Bengalooru spirit(with stress on the 'looo'). The rest can be done anywhere, even in the middle of a desert. Seriously you can do this there, I have for 3 years of my hostel life, and it's not just Padukone there :)

Ok Arjun... control. Chalo then, yeah the point is, last week I get a mail from a dear friend about this 'Made In India' film festival in the British Library. 8 3-minute documentaries, themed on 'Independence Day'. I've never really been a film critic, you know the 'intellectual' type. The more wham-bam, the more eye-catching scenes :) the better. But I got curious, so what the heck. Anyway we would probably have gone to a pub, so I got myself invited. And besides, things like this make you seem the intellectual, high-society types. But I am guessing, I will have lost the possibility of that after this post.

So I go there-the library fyi, looks brilliant, definitely worth a visit-and its a small little meeting room, with chairs with a projector, and little pockets of people talking intellectual stuff, saying stuff like, 'the artist's rendering of the strokes on the canvas, though anachronistic, was clearly an attempt at true expression' or 'photography is the true art form for its mastery requires something from deep within, it is so misunderstood and taken for granted by the masses, that it shakes me to the core'. I on the other hand, immediately went off looking for tea and biscuits.

So the show started, and it was, simply put-a showcase of 8 3-minute documentaries, on the theme of 'Made in India'. It was fascinating to see the varied topics that the film-makers chose to portray given their 3-minutes, and their interpretation of what independence meant to them or to their subjects. Most were expectedly narrations, like the one of a young girl whose family became 'foreigners' after the separation into Bangladesh, or the homecoming of a young man into his up-in-the-hillstation home, that had held once a freedom activist and a british artist at another. My fav was 'English & I' where a youngster related her complex relationship with the English language, she recounted one little nursery rhyme by William Wodsworth with the words, 'And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils.' realizing with some degree on angst, that she didn't then and still doesn't what what a damn daffodil is. I'll be frank, I don't either until, that is, I googled it. Go on, do it yourself.

Then was the true story of a 75 year-old woman, who remarried at 75!! Actually if I did get the story, the exclamation is unwarranted, but I'll let it be, as a tribute to her courage. Independence to her meant, being able to what she wanted. One of the best was about the ambassador car, and how its changes can more-or-less be co-related to that of the story of India. The British left us, in their wake, only three good things-the justice system, the education system and the ambassador car, commented the narrator.

Two of the directors were present, and related to us, how difficult it was to simply chop off 57 minutes of their proposed idea. The challenge, the required discipline and what was being portrayed in the film. It was truly a memorable experience, not at all grand and out-of-this world, but one of those simple ordinary things that leave a mark, not for 'how' the experience was, but 'what'. If anyone hears of such things happenning around Bangalore and needs company, do let me know.

I know the last blogpost sucked royally, but try and forget it.

Personal developments(if it interests you, as much as it does me):
Got my hair cut, all of it, well not all of it, but you know... mostly all of it.
Have registered for a relay marathon, where I run 5 km. For practice, I run 6 km everyday... almost
Regardless of how awesome or worthless Kaminey is, I have a feeling my next post would title the hindi swear.
Going for basketball practice with the company team on Saturdays, they're all awesome people.
Can solve the rubik's cube now... the development being it's not the boring beginner's method, every Tom and Dick knows(Harry doesn't apparently)
Got a credit card for myself and for three of my friends... ab doobenge to sab milke

Love life: still no developments :( Either I expect too much, or too much is expected of me, or someone doesn't meet expectations, or someone doesn't know what or how much to expect or everyone's just confused. The last one is mostly likely, I expect.

Work mein: Still training. I am at that stage where I can almost floor you with my knowledge in telecom, but am not of much use to the company yet.

Chalo then, await Kaminey.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Trip 2 Bandipur

After trips to faraway and exquisitely unknown places, here I am to talk about our day trip to Bandipur National Park, Gopalaswamy Hills and KRS(Krishna Raja Sagara) Dam. It wasn't as expensive, as full of possibilities, as dangerous ( :) ) as intoxicating :D or as far as most of my trips, but it was definitely awesome fun.

I awoke at 4am. Not guys this is not fiction, I did awake that early. For the first and hopefully last time, Sony World Junction, was empty, no vehicles man. I took a dozen pics of the rare sight. I still can't believe it. Okok, bad PJ. I was first put into a bus with Tamilians, and it felt like someone hit me on my head, and the language processing part of it went inactive. No hard feelings guys, but I had to shift.

First stop, Gopalaswamy hills, brilliant, serene, enchanting, breath-taking, as well as taking your-breath away, cool, and uncannily windy place. You feel one top of the world, yet one with nature. I just found a spot, and stared at the word around me. I was conspicuous by my silence. People were worried :)

Then to Bandipur National Park. Frankly speaking, there was more wildlife on my lunch plate than on the safari. I tried to have some fun anyways, but was made to shut-up :( by the driver and everybody else.

Most of the trip was spent on the bus, sleeping, drowsing, singing(there were people worse than me, yeyeye), humming, and more bull shit, that sounds silly when you talk about it in hindsight, but is fun when you're actually doing it.

Then to the KRS dam, where there are too many people, too many fountains and too many hawkers selling way too many things. Ok that was bad, but it went with the flow na. I got tricked by the public board that said you need to pay 50rs for the cam. I paid, but realised that nobody checked! What cheats man!!

Last stop CCD, where the most eventful thing was my dropping hot, steaming, boiling, burning coffee onto myself. The worst thing was that I wasn't even drunk then, crazzzy.

Returned by 3am, met some awesome drunk rickshaw drivers, bike riders, car drivers and watchmen on my way home.

I know this post sounds very unlike most of my other posts, more childish. But you see, its nice to be a child sometimes :)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Da Bangalooru

Ever since I first got my hand on e-mail, I have first enjoyed, been amazed by then pissed and irritated by, and lastly downright wait-till-I-get-my-hands-on-you by forwards. Having had several e-mail addresses and being an ardent 'checker' of my e-mail and a writer too, I think I would have read about every girl mutilated by accident, every bad luck bringing mouse pad, every blood marrow needing husband and every 5-year old having a rare heart dysfunction. I used to fall for the financial ones, those that say that Bill Gates would pay one cent for every mail I am responsible for, HAHA those were good ones, but not any more. :) At least not the old ones. The jokes were always awesome (I guess a lot of sardarjis would beg to differ) and since a long time I wanted to write one of those satirical sarcastic sardonic sets of jokes. And I seriosuly can't remember one about Bangalore, so here goes. Please remember to laugh out loud, giggle, or at least smile after each one, you'll have good luck for the rest of the day.

Describe Bangalore:
A giant red-light area*(you seriously need to look down for this asterix) sprinkled with IT companies and malls(3 malls per IT company), with more vehicles per unit area than bees on a hive, centered around Koramangala('coz that's where I live) with the black Koramangala ki nalli meandering through it.

Describe a typical Bangalorean:
He (sorry for being sexist), fine I'll call him/her 'it'. It is in IT, well-dressed, thoroughly confounded not by its family life(which is non-existant), not by its friends(they're always inebriated and thus forgetful when they meet), not by it's boss(coz bosses talk and the only conversation it's had is over gtalk), not by it's uselessness to the cosmos (the periodic inebritaion with friends solves this, and anyways it's too busy coding to notice) but by his colleagues' pay check. It knows its regional language fluently but will still fail miserably at trying to speak passable English, though it's good at talking in C. It thinks that Bangalore is centered around the building of its residence :) , that Hyderabad is just another village(in a bad sense), that Bangalore is an awesome village(in a good sense) , that his engineering degree taught it nothing worthwhile and all of Bangalore's problems would be solved by the metro.

What do you hear in Bangalore, if you listem carefully?
Mostly honking, but if you listen carefully you'd hear an IT engineer scratching his head and noisily typing, improving code written by someone else in another company, in another country, getting paid 10 times more than him, with better job security.

What are the two choices that the Bangalorean faces?
To honk his car battery out of its life, rushing into every corner he sees trying to get home early or patiently wait and end up being late.

What is so curious about the above choice?
Every Bangalorean always chooses the former but gets the latter.

How pretty are the girls in Bangalore?
What? Where?.... HAHA trick question. :)

When do you know that a Bangalorean is lying?
When he says that he's getting enough money.

What is so awesome about the weather in Bangalore?
It's just awesome, it wouldn't be awesome if you needed a reason to call it awesome.

What 4-letter word does every Bangalorean hate?
HR (the rest are white spaces)

What is so good about Forum(the mall)?
Nothing, but nobody seems to notice or care.

What do you do when you find a Bangalorean colleague bleeding on the road, having had an accident?
Call HR and tell them, 'We need another one'.

Why is the suicide rate so low in Bangalore?
An unsigned integer can only hold so many values.

Why do I say that Bangalore is technologically advanced?
Because there are more mouses than mice.

What do the men and women in Bangalore have in common?
They both go 'eeek' when someone says pink.

What do you do if you want to make a Bangalorean go mad?
Trick question.

* the area around a junction when the light is red, or any other area where you have to stop for a jam. The union of these two encompasses all of Bangalore

... could've thought of more, but have training in another 5 minutes. Cya..

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Things to do in PS

Hello. It's been 2 weeks in Bengaluru, and there's so much to talk about. I mean, as I am getting pushed and shoved in the bus, I think of a blog post, as I am helplessly swindled out of 100 bucks by these bloody rickshaw drivers, I wonder how I'm going to put the experience to words.

Office has been good, got my cubicle and desk y'day. Office people are really awesome and cool. And no, I am not trying to suck up... not so soon at least :)

However that's for later. First things first. I see a lot of status messages, saying PS sucks, or rocks(same guy actually) or giving links about what they're doing and stuff like that. Now how much does your PS rock, is a difficult thing to measure. I am sure, you'll all agree, no PS could possibly agree like mine (if you disagree go piss on yourself), so as a goodwill gesture I'll be listing some of the things that I did during my PS-2 and you can judge for yourself how well you compare. (PS stands for Practice School, and its a 6 month paid internship during the final year at BITS-Pilani) My PS was in Singapore at Infineon (no no, the list hasn't begun, I'm not so brutal :)) It was my first trip abroad, I left with an empty passport and returned with no pages to spare.

So here goes(in no particular order, all equally awesome)

1. Attended a Coldplay Concert - best band in the world I'd reckon
2. Cycled 40km for a cycling marathon
3. Ran a full marathon - and fell in love with running
4. Went to Arab Street for an authentic belly dancing show, and danced with the dancer (no I wasn't drunk, not until then and I do have pics to prove it)
5. Attended the Malaysian Grand Prix

...if you're already green with envy, you had better stop, I am just starting
6. Saw a stunt biking event, back flips and stuff, in front of my eyes
7. Called friends over for a week to Singapore(Rushi and Dhruv... you guys rock)
8. Brought my family over for their first foreign trip to Singapore and Malaysia.
9. Went to Malaysia 4 times.(most Singaporeans haven't :) and its just an hours drive from anywhere in Singapore)
10. Saw Disneyland and fell in love with Snow White (HAHA, over these 6 months, I fell in love many tims over :))
11. Went to Macau and Hong Kong, for bunjy jumping(world's highest), gambling in the world's awesomest casinos, Lantau island to see the Buddha(here too fell in love with the persona of the Buddha), an awesome show that left me crazy and happy, drank Russian vodka at -22 degrees.
12. Tried more cuisines that I like count. More sea food than exists in the Arabian Sea
13. Went to LAOS, an authentic back-packers destination(I have been to places, even google maps has no info about :))
14. ohh before I forget, I did get to do a cool project at Infineon, which I finished and my mentor was impressed.
15. Had a pic taken with a prominent film actress ('twas Sameera Reddy folks, and regardless of what passers by tell you, it was she who asked, no insisted on a pic)
16. Oh, how could I forget the Madame Tussaud's Wax museum in Hong Kong. We almost molested most of the figures there :)
17. Made some really really awesome friends at CHYK (Chinmaya Yuva Kendra), who made the stay so much more awesomer.
18. Went to a Indian pub for a cricket match, and came out happy and awesome, despite not even knowing who won the match... this may not sound so great, but for some things, you just have to be there to know. :)
19. Drove a car at about 190kmph on Malaysian highways (why didn't I cross 200, you ask, it was the speed limit I say, and before you can smirk, I say again, the speed limit is of the car not the road- that was 130 :))
20. Kayak'ed down river Mekong for over 50 km, this was in Laos.
21. Tried Lao Lao, thats a drink where they politely insert whole anima parts in a rice based alcoholic drink, the ones we tries were, sea horse, millipede and bear's feet (close your mouth, yeah its true, and yeah I have pics again)
22. Jumped into the river about 6 times, mostly from a circus bar-about 3-4 m, and once from a gorge, about 8-10 m high. No pics here, but the video is on youtube :)
23. Learnt the guitar and swimming... well I haven't lied and don't intend to start. Both I couldn't realllly get a hang of but desperately want to continue here in Bengaluru.
24. Blogged a lot and also launched my website... blog is still active, as you can figuere, website ke liye, wait a little, I promise I won't disappoint. Will update not too far from today.
25. There are a lot more things that come to mind, but I can't mention for this is a public forum :), there are children reading this :) and I fear for my safety :).

I am now both tired from typing, and nostalgic from remembering all those fun times. I had a wonderful wonderful time there. 6 unforgettable life-altering months. I am sure, I am forgetting some stuff, so until I am reminded of them, you can go on feeling depressed about your life. :)

All the pics are in my album(the link is to the right) and you're free to comment.

Errata: Stuff I initially forgot
26. Brewed our own beer at home, seriously we did man! And it was wheat beer, not the ubiquitous lager beer.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Why we Indians are winners?

Hey all. My first week in Bangalore... sorry Bengaluru has just come to an end. And it was nothing short of monumental. Of course, after 6 months in Singapura, at the beginning it was like one of those scenes where I just stand there confounded while everything else around me is in fast forward. Within 2 hours of reaching here, I saw at least 37 Singaporean laws broken! :)

Also let me make a point here, there is no order in this chaos! None whatsoever. I am not going to be one of those over-optimistic, over-enthued, neck-deep in patriotism, cricket-loving, not-knowing-shit-about-politics-but-still-commenting-like-Barkha-Dutt, independence-day-flag-bearing Indians. Don't get me wrong, I love India, it's my home. But I am not blind to reality. I don't call an educated unemployed young man, an opportunity. As long as he is unemployed and can't feed himself, he is useless to the country and more importantly the country is useless to him. No harm admitting it.

OK, so that finishes my quota of serious talk for this month! This is the frustration over the bus conductors coming out in words. Crazzy bastards!!

Now I am a funny blogger. Or so I believe. My sarcasm may be a little misplaced sometimes... okay many times, but admit it, it's funny :) So what makes us Indians winners, despite all this crap. I believe this is a wrong question, the thing is Indians are winners because of all this crap, I mean seriously, where else do you find rickshaw drivers so helpful, that they go out of their way, literally, to tap another rickshaw driver on the back, so that poor-old you can reach home in time. Oh, and I forgot to mention, all this while both the rickshaws are running parallelly on a two-way street, swerving dangerously through Bangalore traffic. They risk their life, to get you home. How selfless is that!

Then there are these awesome bus drivers. You see in many so called developed countries, engineers and mathematicians, sit long hours, drawing up bus routes, keeping in mind one-way streets, working out most efficient way and stops. Here, the bus stops everywhere, seriously. And for efficiency and safety(the truck behind is just 20 feet away), the bus doesn't even stop, it just slows down and you climb in. How cool is that!!

Then there are the rickshaw drivers' love for cleanliness. They so want to see their city clean, that while they're driving, if they see a spot of dirt on the road, they will spit on it, literally change their route and spit on it, to keep the road clean.

Another observation is the dexterity and entrepreneurial spirit of the rickshaw drivers. Rigging an analog fare meter is understandable, but here even the digital meters are rigged. I am an electronics engineer and I haven't a clue how you do that!!

Then again the hunger for perfection. We will not go forward unless everything is in place. Bangalore has planned a Metro, but no work has been seen done since last October. The engineers are adamant, unless everything is in place and there's no chance of failure, they won't continue. What noble thoughts!!

And even after all this Indians are extremely helpful to their fellows. You ask them, on the bus, where to get down, they will never tell you, lest they misguide you. Bad advice is much worse than no advice na. Also as you can expect we have the perfect number of buses here, how they calculate it is a secret. All buses are completely filled, about 2.5 times the number of seats. This ensures no fuel is wasted! Also buses are perfectly maintained, how else do you explain that the same ones are running since a decade after independence!

Another thing abut passengers in buses. Whenever someone sitting gets up, everybody jumps toward him, because they can't see him standing for even a minute. He's got the seat and as good manners, we should ensure that he sits for as long as he can, he deserves it!!

I guess that's enough back-thumping for today. Don't take me too seriosuly guys! :)

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Marathon run

A promise is a promise, right? So among the multitude of blogging options that I hinted at in my previous post-I hate it when people use 'last' instead of previous, leaves room for ambiguity, like when people say that they did skydiving on their last trip, how in the names of Dogbert and Catbert(characters in Dilbert), can they go for another one, if it was the last trip, they should be dead! Maybe there's a Facebook group for people with grievances like this, that I can join to feel happy and content, and then never ever think about, and justify it by criticising it's lack of activity... ahh, I love the online community, gives you so many ways to de a bad thing and actually feel good about it!

Now I am totally lost, and have to look up to see what in the name of Alice and Pointy-ears(more characters from the afore-mentioned strip), I started to write about. Ohh, yeah. The marathon.

Now running the marathon is one of the most selfish things one could do.(I love saying 'the' marathon, makes it appear so much awesomer than it is... see selfish!!) It's one of the few things you can do, wholly for your ego and nothing else.

You want to feel better, feel self-important. You don't care if your work gets affected because you practice and can't get enough sleep. You want to feel better than others who don't 'keep fit' and are 'unaware' of their bodies even though you started only a week ago, you never reveal your timing saying that, ''It's not a race against time, its just the finishing, the experience", despite the fact that your day was made when you realised that you beat that guy in IT, or screwed after being told that that fat girl in your neighbourhood decimated your timing, you justify buying those expensive Nike shoes, because you 'need' them. I hope you can keep up with this line of thinking, you unaware morons. If you can't that's because you are not physically fit and mentally alert, which can only come from a marathon run, you no-good twerps.

I know this line of thinking is counter-intuitive. And it is. Do I believe it? HELL NO! I just wanted to ruin your day if you've ever run a marathon(see, for you its 'a' marathon, I ran 'the' marathon). It feels good seeing other people suffer, great when you're responsible for it, but it feels wonderful when people feel guilty for something they did, that they thought was selfless, humane and kind(like charity, especially anonymous charity). I am feeling so great now!!

Alright, so how was the marathon? You know when they say, cricket is not just about bat hitting ball, coding is not just syntax, it is the journey not the destination and other random mumblings that sound like mumbo-jumbo. I guess it's because most of us have never REALLY been involved into any 'one' thing that much... by us I mean people my age, we want to do a lot of things and so there's never like one FIRM sole purpose in life, that we'd die to achieve. So if you want to understand what these guys meant go run yourself a marathon, because a marathon is just not about the running. The running is the easy part.

I'll leave it at that.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The awesomest PS

I have been a bit busy at work the last few weeks(yeah right! I am sure you're saying to yourself) but yaar, you've heard the 80%-20% law na. I don't fight it. So I just laze around 80% of the time.It works for me, and besides it's illegal to break the law right? especially in a 'fine' city like Singapore. 

So what have I been doing, during the extended all-paid leave from blogging. I don't get paid anyways so its technically all-paid... sorry it'll take some time for the humour to reach its all time glory, so please bear with me. Yeah so coming to the point, I have:
1. to win the nobel prize, an oscar and feature on the the cover of TIMES magazine
2. be the PM/President of any(?) country
3. act in a super-duper-record-breaking-200 days-running movie(language no bar)
4. set foot on all continents and a couple of planets
5. buy a Mac, make an app and get lots of money
6. buy a secluded tropical island with over a dozen hot.... hey wait a minute, sorry guys that's the wrong list :P (so now you know what to get me for my b'day)

Oh yes, here it is:
1. run my first marathon.. that too a full one(yes yes, a blog post will ensue, don't whine for God's sake) ... and unlike what they all say, the pain does take long to go away... way to long
2. I called my parents and brother here for an unforgettable 7 days and 8 nights stay in lovely Singapore and tropical Malaysia which is behind door no. 2!!! what the! sorry, I went into the game show mode again. Y'day I had a dream where I won like a trillion bucks  and the island I was talking about on... never mind! Yeah so it did happen, and this was their first foreign trip. So go shead and say, ahhh, so cute. :) coz I deserve it.
3. designed my website... why? just because I thought it would be a cool thing to do(you may find his line on my homepage too :)) The link is: http://arjunkamath.do.am/
4. Have been on Twitter a lot(micro-blogging right, so I technically HAVE been blogging)
5. Finally figured out what my project here was all about! Thank goodness for that one!
6. Also I got my offer letter from Nokia Siemens Networks and I join on 1st July. Actually there's nothing I DID about this thing, but I am just happy and can't recollect more than this.
7. Solving the rubik's cube... ahh that's it I am just making things up now, so I had better stop.

So yeah, it's been cool and busy and fun. It's now my last couple of weeks here in Singapore, and yes, Singapore you will be missed. Your paying me for having fun, your close proximity to so many other countries along with your cheap airline(a blog post for Tiger airways too is in my things to do), your awesome transportation system, your scintilly clad population, your awesome exchange rate(SGD rocks man!),  your unofficial language Singlish(yes la, I like Singlish la, can can!), your legalisation of the world's oldest profession(my interest here lies entirely in its socio-economic and medical benefits for the population :)) et al.

See right here, there are so many more blog posts hidden away. So I guess I can say, I'M BACK(in Arnold's voice). So rejoice you all!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The best professions

Hello guys. Don't be shocked, it is me! No, I didn't get kidnapped in Hong Kong(though there were a couple of places where I would've liked to have gotten lost), nor did I fall to my death from the highest bungee in the world in Macau (I won't tell you guys to try it, not because it wasn't the awesomest thing I've done , but because I know you don't have the balls :P )

Now actually I am a bit tired of posting about my travels, I mean its monotonous. We go, we have fun, we do weird and crazy stuff, I blog about it, you all get jealous and depressed & ask yourself what big losers you are... so on and so forth. Not that I don't enjoy it, but its no challenge. I mean, how creaive can you get just reporting on cool stuff. So this time, I'll change. Btw this topic has been on my mind for some time now, roughly 10 and half minutes. That's more than most others, so before I forget what this is all about, lemme begin. Also this post is dedicated to Shabby. She's the only one of my millions of fans, who is not scared to remind me of my duty towards you all.

As an engineer my job involves doing real stuff and contributing to my company in a meaningful way... or at least pretending to do so. But there are a few professions where people seem to get money for doing totally nothing. Let me give you some examples.

Take a film critic- by far the awesomest job in the world. This guy does what we all do- day in and day out, there is no assessment of his job, nobody questions his integrity or knowledge, and actually gets paid for all this. Regardless of his opinion, there will always be people on his side and the best part is that he gets to screw people's happiness by giving out spoilers. I mean what can beat that.

Cricket commentry are another effortless and brilliant job. You get the best seats, nobody seems to mind your horrible English, if its a test match you can actully talk of your family problems and people will like you more for it, even if you sucked at the game when you played you get to point fingers at the best players of the day, you get to travel to awesome places, the more rubbish you talk the more you get noticed... what else can you want man!

Then there are newsreaders. While the reporters are busy going from place to place, toiling in the hot deserts of Rajasthan or in the freezing cold of Ladakh, in war zones and police stations, the pretty newsreaders become the face of this news and mostly get the credit for it. All you have to do is be literate, not blind and female and the whole world will watch. If you're pretty, guys will forget cricket matches and their wives to watch the news.

Modelling is another cool thing. It's tough if you're a guy, I mean what can he show that the men haven't seen already :P

Bungee jumping is another thing that comes to mind. But it's not for people like you.. losers I mean. :) Okay okay, I'm going to far with this.

Going a little bit more practical. The guys in HR and IT also seem to be having a ball. Both groups do exactly what most of us have done in our college lives. They do stuff which is mostly totally irrelevant to what the company does. Since the practices keep evolving and changing, there's always an excuse for screwing up, "The software update is not compatible with our harware, and the redundancies keep mounting " or "The social scenario had changed the group dynamics and the resultant employee dissatisfaction could not have been forseen " and crap like that. They actually get paid for browsing the net, you can't even question them if they are facebooking all day. And again, if you're female just smile, and everything gets done. Being an intern also is somewhat close to this category, but at least we have to submit reports.

Another aweosme group is the 'panel of experts'. If you've ever watched the news, there are always these panel of experts who seem to have an opinion on everything. Whether they've read anything relevant, or even give a shit is totally questionable. The same lady talks about elections, greenhouse effect and child labour too. And if you're on IndiaTV or Zee News, its totally awesome. Just make stuff up on the spot, absolutely anything! The more stupid you are the more you get called. Here you don't have to be good looking, in fact the more moles you have on your face or the worse your dressing sense, the more people are convinced of your expertise.

There are a few more I could think of given some more time, but lite yaar, bahut likh liya. Shabby khush!! Aur bhaiyyon aur unki behnon, I know you love me, but yaar roz thodi likh sakta hoon. Meri bhi limitations hain, familial responsibilities hain, so kabhi kabhi gen mein blog visit kiya karo. Count bahut dheeme chal raha hai aaj kal.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

It's proved, Rain hates me!

How else do you explain, that three times in a row in, rain has played spoilsport in my otherwise perfectly enjoyable, awesomely brilliant Malaysia trips.

The first time in Genting, we were disallowed from getting onto the space shot(which would basically shoot us up into.... space), second time in Sunway lagoon, a 200 ringit investment lost value immediately when according to the bloody @#$%^& incharge, the few drops of wetness that may have set onto the stainless steel chord would make our 10 second ride fraught with danger. We tried to tell him that, that was the point! If we didn't like being in danger, if we were so boring, we'd be at home, reading Shakespere, eating biscuits,playing poker(with fake coins) or taking quizzes. Maybe even reading blogs :)

The third time was when the Grand Prix itself got washed out, when it began raining elephants and giraffes. Here, I am obliged to apologize to all who attended. I am sorry that my bad luck screwed it up for you. It's a pity that my individual bad luck overcame all your collective hopes, dreams and aspirations. Ahh... that felt good. Nothing feels better, than the feeling of screwing up someone's life.

Overall the trip was fun, speed limits were enforced, not by the traffic police or that void space in our heads called 'conscience', but by everyone trying to do the same thing, go fast! When everyone wants the same thing, nobody gets it! Demand and Supply, rule of nature.

The trip to Sunway Lagoon, a theme park on the outskirts of Kuala Lampur, was fun. We shopped along Petaling Street(very similar to Palika Bazaar) for 'official' EPL merchandise, and of course the non-fast moving parts of the F1 experience. They move slowly, sometimes just stationary, come from all over the world and take your breath away!!

During the race we had the engineer's kind of fun. What's that? You see there are many types of fun, ways to enjoy a sporting event. The normal F1 fan, would follow the sport all his life, would never miss a race, and could recognice the car from the smell.

We engineers, would be able to explain to you about the aerodynamics of the cars shapes, the importance of weight distribution and be able to design the optimum pit stop time, but we can't really enjoy the race, just like that!! :( So we used the last-minute fan algorithm. Two days before the race, we wiki, google, yahoo and read all we can find about the sport. From the dimensions of the tires to the most recent rule changes, and quiz each other on such trivia before the race. I know, it's lame and geeky and stupid! But it works!! with a few monor problems. Though we could tell the significance of the green circle on the tires(btw it means they're using soft tyres), we couldn't tell which car was whose! LOL!

And waise the rain was a good thing, because once one car went into the pit lane, we couldn't really follow anything. So yeah, it added to the excitement. hehe, I am so screwing with you!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Malaysia Road Trip- Epidose 2

Life is getting funner day by day, and I am obliged to blog ever so often so that I may share my joy with the rest of the world... though the feeling that most of you are probably experiencing right now, hearing our exploits, could be more aptly described as misery!!! (c'mon guys admit it, you are jealous. It happens la, "Life's unfair, deal with it"). Okay okay, enough with it.

What's struck me the last few days is the irony of life and the brilliance of its unpredictability. Being an Indian, cricket runs in my arteries... or is it capillaries, or wait... isn't it veins, oh screw it, let's just say blood shall we, I have never gone to a stadium to watch a match, and on the other hand, if there's one sport whose world following and economic power, baffles me its F1, and on the third front, during our last visit to Malaysia, while we were leaving Kuala Lampur, we kept looking back at the Petronas Towers thinking, "Pata nahin abhi kab mauka milega, vaapis dekhne ka". It's hardly been 3 weeks now, we're going back to Malaysia again on a road trip and to watch the Malaysian Grand Prix. Awesome right? Fine, so if green stands for envy, you must right now be preparing your own food.. you know, green..uhh. photosynthesis. Yeah, really bad joke, but lite.

Last time, we were driving out of Malacca, on our way to Kuala Lampur. There wasn't a lot of getting lost this time, as the roads were pretty much our guide. One thing that strikes you in Malaysia, is the scale of things. Everything is just 10-15 times bigger than in Singapore. The housing areas, the forested areas, the cities and even the hills. The speed limit was 90kmph, and everyone, in every lane, obediently stayed above it. When you keep moving for so long at such speeds, your frame of reference gets altered. So when you do eventually get down, you half expect every bus, to whizz past you.

The thing about a road trip to a foreign country is that, when you arrive, you spend hours and days trying to get to know the roads, and just when you get the hang of it, it's time to leave, and the point is lost.

But I can tell you this for sure, there's no joy, like driving around in circles in a foreign country, where no two passers-by seem to agree on the right road to take to a landmark(Petronas Towers) that can be seen from everywhere, where no turn is right(as in wrong, for those of you who are slow and didn't get the intended pun), where you get so hopelessly lost-you start to get what that guy meant by, "It's the journey, not the destination" with a digicam having full battery and a carton full of pringles!! We did eventually find the place, and predictably, it was a street that we had passed half a dozen times.

About the Petronas Towers and KL tower, we went, we got lost, we reached, we climbed(or rather were 'lift'ed), we clicked.. boy did we click, we got dazzled, mystified and amazed, we lazed around(it was raining), we ate, we went to the loo, we got tired, we clicked some more, got lost some more, and finally reached our accommodation.

Later into the night, we walked along Petaling Street, Little India and Chinatown Street, all within walking distance of each other and our acco. At night, we went to the Beach Club Cafe and we ....this part of the post has been censored for the continuance of innocencen of our younger viewers ..... it was awesome, you just had to be there.

And there ends day2.

PS: There is no PS.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Malaysian trip-Epidose 1

I've read many travelblogs, and they are usually the stereotype, went there, saw this, did that, took pics sort of crap. Now that's fine, as long as YOU KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!! I mean seriously guys, nobody reads you blog to know how you felt when you touched the Petronas Towers for the first time, how brilliant the view was from KL Towers, how unwordly the Beach Club Cafe was and how adrenaline pumping driving at over a 100 miles/hour was. Okay, am getting lost here. So is this post going to do any of the above, OF COURSE. So why did I give you so much bullshit? Just to prepare you for what's in store. Also a warning. In case life hasn't been good to you lately, you've been getting bad grades while your sidey is av+av, or you've just had a breakup(if you're a girl, in or just out of your teens, smart and pretty... call me!! :P, I give great get-over-that-breakup-I'll-take-you-to-coffee-talk), don't read any further. You wouldn't be able to handle the jealousy!! :P

I'm going to try and make this entertaining for all. Waise the link to my picasa album is to the right, so if you're not in a mood to read, go ahead.

Ours was a roadtrip. We went to and through Malacca(the town is so sleepy, Goa seems like a vibrant metropolis in comparison), then to Kuala Lampur(where no road ever goes to where you want) and later to Genting Highlands(where though we missed the casino... go on go on, laugh your heart out, you won't get another chance till I finish all episodes, we experienced indoor skydiving, which for an hour later became my latest ambition)

In total, we were 9. Me, Ashokey, Abhishek, Kattu bastard drunkard driver, Babu brothers(who love each other so much, that they can't keep their hands off each other... either they're gonna love this line or I'm in for a beating the next time I see them), Item, Jula and SRK.

Our car was brilliant, it was local Malaysian Proton Waja, which supposedly even the women in Malaysia know how to repair(that's saying a lot!!), it has a stick shift and a pseudo clutch(it exists only in your mind as you desperately try to prevent your left foot from kicking air). Basically its a woman's a very simple car to drive. But boring too, you can start the car from stationary position being in the 4th gear. Ahhhhh!!!

After 3 hours, of driving along expressways, losing our way, taking u-turns, getting misdirections from uninterested passers-by, we came back to where we started. We then opened the luggage compartment, flung in all the maps, and were on our way... the right way. Information overload is such a PITA.

Malacca is one place which is first on the list of places not to visit of most people. On telling one taxi driver, back in Singapore, our itinerary we were met with, 'You look like nice, healthy young men, why are you going to Malacca?' Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out what he reallly meant!

But all prejudicial images were shattered. It was an awesome place. Have you ever been to a place, where nobody seems to be 'working' to earn a living, where you find people having lunchinner, and where the quickest walking speed if half a stroll? If no, come to Malacca. Time has no meaning for these simple people. Every weekend they have a colourful vibrant street market called Jonker Walk, where you get chocolate-dipped grape kebabs, caramel encrusted kiwis, cheap made-in-china electronics, weird puzzles and most things that you never thought existed or the world had any use for.

Malacca along with Alleppey(Kerala), Suzhou(China), Thai Klong(Thailand) is also called 'The Venice of the East'. Yeah it's funny and paradoxical, but its marketing baby! So they had a river cruise which we managed to get onto.

Plenty of museums-there was one that was painted betel-spit-red because the governor was tired of getting the clock tower repainted after everyone kept using it as a spitting post, another within a pirate ship, and a couple of churches of which all that has remained are three walls.

PS1: The title is a serendipitious. Go ahead, don't stop yourself from scrolling up.

PS2: Next epidose on KL. But beware if you're already green with envy, don't read it.

PS3: If you don't pass on this post to your friends, neither will you have bad luck, nor will your eyes pop out, nor will you have bad sex for life, but if you do pass it on to-
1-2 person(s): I will smile
3-7 persons: I will jump for joy
8-15 persons: I will personally thank you and sing praises for you.
16-30 persons: I will take you out to dinner(provided of course you're smart and sexy, else it's be a dutch)

Friday, March 20, 2009

The fun part of a road trip is the time on the road... so boy, did we have fun!!

I know, I know the title is long, but I think you get the message. The Malaysia Road trip was my first experience of a 'real' road trip. So what do you need for a 'real' road trip? Let me list them down:-
  1. A car(preferably a local one, keeping in mind that the bribes needed to get out of a speeding ticket is a function of the current diplomatic relations between the country of birth of the policeman and the numberplate of the speeding vehicle)

  2. Not more than 2 drivers per car(this is a specific requirement to Malaysia, because 2 people can anyways adjust but if more, then they'd be big fights for the steering wheel)

  3. Maps(naturally they are useless, the only maps we found really useful were, one, the political map of the whole of Malaysia and two, the map of the rides inside the Genting theme park)

  4. Very importantly, absolutely no knowledge of the local roads and very little knowledge of the local language, implying that, if there's one guy who's been there, done that, leave him at the airport or rather push him off the nearest tall building, and talk to locals with Yes and No or even better with sign language.

  5. Clothes, take proper backpacker type, shorts, rugged t-shirts, and get one of those large vertical backpacks. So even if you stay in a posh hotel, the locals and people who later view your photos on picasa, will think that you went on this big near-death adventure.

  6. Plans: Do plan your trip to the minutest detail. This is only so you can bear the pre-trip goosebumps. Anyways nothing is going to go as planned, so might as weel feel good while you can.

  7. A rubik's cube, or better that book you always wanted to read. Yeah you guessed it, you're definitely not gonna read it, but the idea of it being there, relieves you.

  8. One dutiful guy, who keeps the financial records, wakes people up on time, and never complains when stuff is flung at him, does the pre-trip planning, also drives pretty well, is great with girls, has a digicam and knows how to use it, and is overall the bestest guy on the trip. ME!!!
PS1: A special mention has to be made of the INSEAD printer. It's contribution to our trip rivals Ashok's and Abhishek's. LOL.

PS2: Don't be disappointed, there's more to come. Just that I don't feel in the 'real' blogging mood yet. So to all my fans and aircons(it's been some time, since I made a PJ) please keep patience.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Happy Woman's Day

Hey all. Just like all bloggers I keep a check on my visiter count, every day... no every 5 hours... Oh, who am I cheating, half the page loads can be sourced back to my office PC or laptop. And I did it again, about 40 seconds ago, and as with all engineers(read geeks) I look for a pattern.

Don't worry this post isn't going to involve all the 'multiplicities' of the last one, for which, I actually got a few calls from parents of teenage fans, asking me to stop confusing their kid so much- "Already he's got calculus and Organic Chemistry, without me adding to his complications", so this is going to be simple, and being dedicated to Women(that part of the world's population, who always seem to find me smart, charming, funny and sweet, but for some reason prefer to stay away from me) it's straight from the heart(ahhh... that's a killer line isn't it, now if I can only remember it the next time, I'm talking to a pretty girl)

And getting back to the visitor count pattern, what I found was that my count always spikes the day I write a new post, and then almost uniformly dwindles down. However, I had a huge spike yesterday, and it got me thinking. It took me sometime, but I membered that it was 'Woman's Day' and it struck me that all my female fans were probably expecting me to write something, so here I am at 2.50am in the morning, needing to wake up at 9 to go to office and half-drowsy, but still typing furiously(see that's how much I love you all(also you can check my facebook status))

So what do "I" have to say about women, that they haven't already told each other already, about a million times, in every household, college canteen, bus ride, train journey, phone call in every city, state, country, planet(if there were aliens out there, whether or not the know of man's existence, I'm sure they've heard housewives agruing(hey maybe that's why we still haven's had a 'War of the Worlds' yet)). Yeah, a lot has been said about women's over-active auditory capabilities, but you know what, that's a good thing. It keeps them distracted, when we're too busy admiring them(ahh, I'm on a rampage, wait lemme just write this on my palm)

So women, while all the men, make jokes about your bad driving, apparent lack of intelligence, make-up, hours to get ready for a 5 minute event et al, I am going to say that I love you not just despite but because of all these reasons, and I'm also gonna tell you why. (This is what I call niche marketing, because though most of the guys will probably change tabs right about now, am sure the girls will keep reading(have a niche market but capture it)... so all you guys can stop reading and I don't care, have the girls on my side, right ladies?? and please do have patience, this one's long)

Before I start my justification, lemme just say that if God is man's greatest invention(read my post long long ago) God's greatest invention is definitely woman.(I can almost cry with joy, what a line yaar)

Okay, lemme begin. Driving. Ahh, so women make bad drivers, so what? so do men. Statistically, numerically, men are involved in a lot lot more accidents than women. Also in an accident if a woman is involved, there will be no after-shocks. If both parties are men, there will be several mentions of their mothers and sisters, and eventally both end up with broken jaws and bruised eyes.

When a guy on a bike, has so much as scratched another's car, there are talks of 'Pata hai main kaun hoon?' 'Insurance kya tera baap dega' et al, but if a guy has his arm twisted because of a woman driver's obvious mistake, he'll keep a brave face, smile back at her,'koi nahin mamooli sa scratch hai' 'bachpan mein cricket khelte hue bahut aise lage hain' and keep his tears for the hospital(here again, nurse ke saamne smile karega, saala tharki)

Then comes the intelligence part. BITSians and IITians will say that very few girls are able to get admission into their colleges because they're not intelligent. And because of that they're stupid, and you know what that is, that's a truck load of crap. Ask your alumni and they'll tell you that most of what made them succesful, had nothing to do with the engineering courses they learnt there. They mostly end up doing MBAs in HR, marketing, advertising etc, setting up their own businesses and other stuff, in which mostly the 'knowledge' they gained had almost no direct use. Now women know this already and choose not to waste time goining unnecessary technical knowledge. They'd rather not take a seat, rather that make a Naraina's student's years' of study and hardwork go to waste. See their high morals and sacrificing nature. While we guys fight in millions for a hadful of seats, shee! we should be ashamed of ourselves. And besides if women start getting into engineering, what will we men do.

Next is over attention to looks or makeup. I can't possibly begin to explain about this. How often have guys attended classes just for that fleeting glance. In offices too this happens. I have also heard that in some offices, the HR people locate the women's cubicles strategically so that the men are kept... what's the word I'm looking for.. yes motivated. So here again, if a woman can change the productivity of an office just by changing her seat, why should she even bother to work. What are we men for??

There are a few more things too that men keep telling themselves over and over again, to try and feel superior. But we all know somewhere in our heart, that we'd rather like a woman than the alternative(though a few guys are screwed up even here(though a woman liking another is perfectly fine with me and also with most of us-unfairers, we don't mind letting you choose))

But since I'm the first guy to go on public fearlessly and without caring about the painful consequences of this revelation, all the advantages of this realization should go to me. So if any of you girls want to send me a private message, my gmail address is junnaonly@gmail.com

Its 4am now and will probably have a bad Monday tomorrow, but its okay. No pain, no gain. Also I apologize for the lack of quality writing here, I just typed all that I felt, and didn't really analyse or think over choosing better words and stuff, so please forgive me.

And before you leave, let me give you one more killer-liner. It's my own, just like all the above ones. So if you hear me telling you this, please get the message soon, and go o a date with me. Chalo cya.

One more, I was always taught that in the animal kingdom, the males are usually more visually attractive, to attract the female, but you know what, in human's that rule doesn't apply. (Now tell me that isn't the pick-up line of the century)

Monday, March 2, 2009

LIFE-a series of patterns

I know you usually come here expecting, some silly, sarcastic, pun-infused post replete with snide remarks and innuendos, that would bring a smile to you weather-beaten, test-striken, sleep-deprived, mess-nourished, unsatisfied, boring selves. Waise me too- I too often begin with something funny, potentially extraordinary, ticklingly humourous, unchronicled therefore (thankfully for me) unverifiable incident/experience/conversation/observation in mind, but sometimes, my expressively intelligent, uncannily observant, brilliantly thoughtful and unfairly gifted mind, notices/comes across/feels/ponders over something and I am obliged to report it.

Have you ever wondered/thought about/pondered over/been pensive about the fact that your life, existence, being, self could be just a series of patterns/a kaleidoscope with the same parts as everybosy else only marginally different/just one measly permuttion of the giant chess board of cosmos. Think about it, wonder over it, deduce it or just read on. Everything that you have done, thought, dreamt, typed, coded or messaged are doing, thinking, dreaming, typing, coding or messaging or will do, think, dream, type, code or message has at some point in history, at some level already been done, thought, dreamt, typed, coded or messaged by someone else, in a terrifyingly similar manner. Its Deja Vu, but at a whole new level.

It is imperative/essential/necessary/important to not look at this theory/notion/idea/thought experiment from extreme points of view. That would be foolish/stupid/silly/like running-away-from-the-truth. If you think from too high a level of abstraction(lingo of an electronics engineer working with VLSI), you may retort/disagree/comeback/repudiate that your 4 years of college life have been different from that of anybody else/unique/extraordinary/deviod of patterns, that today you did it with your left hand, while watching this, and were turned towards that direction etc etc.

From too low a point of view, it seems hardly relevant/pertinent/worthy-of-observation/not trash. Of course, someone, somewhere has thought of this way of playing cricket, has written this exact same sentence, has twittered this exact same message and so on.

Think midway/halfway through/average-it-out, and it starts getting creepy/uncomfortable/annoying/irritatingly noticeable. The uniqueness of our being seem to get threatened/come under question/come under the scanner. Life seems like a black box, a computer program, an algorithm which though different has common patterns found in everybody's life.

So what am I getting at/coming to/what is my motivation/intent? Given that I have told you this, or that you had thought of it before and dismissed it, just ponder/ruminate/think/look over it. Does this make your attitude towards life any different/does it alter your actions/does it change your thought process?

I am not saying/proclaiming/ideating/implying that everything that can be done has been done(though in a way it is true... think string theory level) but just that does this realisation change anything or mean anything at all? Is this subconscious/conscious desire to be the first in something, just-one-thing, what drives achievers to achieve, dreamers to realize, and thinkers to think, inventors to invent, electronics engineers to imagine, A7ites to... (sorry can't think of anything they do)? Is this what pushed the protagonist in the true-story-turned-into-aweosme-must-watch-movie 'Into the wild' leave behind everything he had worked for/dreamt of/achieved/gained in life in search of the 'truth'?(The movie does imply differently, but its just the director's/sreenplay-writer's/producer's/story-writer's point of view, and this is my own(just-thought-of-a-minute-ago) theory)

Okay, this is a deep deep question, at least for me? And if you dare to admit it. it probably is for you too. Do I have an answer/reply/solution/life-altering-deduction? Not really. But how do I feel/behave/fight-back/resist-the-urge-to-do-an-'Into the Wild'-myself? For one, I have begun playing with patterns (for my observant fellows), in an attempt to defy/deny/resist/fight the law/theory/notion/idea.

However on a serious/observant/unsarcastic/non-funny note, I believe, one should think about it, yes ruminate and sit over it, but not let it affect you too much. After all, if the theory/idea/notion/thought experiment is wholly/truly/more-than-partly true/correct/verifiable/undeniable, you'd have read this post many times over, and I and many others would have written this several times before. But/however/as a matter of fact the effect that this idea has had on me, and maybe you too, at this time, at this position of clock hands/this position of the calendar sun/this pattern of bits in the code of the digital clock on the botton right of your windows desktop(or wherever you put it in ubuntu/fedora/leopard/xubuntu), in the room that you are sitting in right now, this amalgamation of latitude and longitude and relative positionn of the earth with respect to the sun has never been felt by either you or me, or anybody else.

A t-shirt quote comes to mind, clinging to the periphery of my mind, knocking at the door of my imagination.


PS-1: For the record, no thesaurus was referrred to, peeked into, sifted through, or physically used in any conceivable manner, during the typing, writing, thinking, brooding over or publishing of this post, piece, unpoetic verse, set of paragraphs... ok I'm tired now. Tired/exhausted/brain dead/linguistically deprived/mentally stressed... ok cut it out. Cut it out/stop/prevent oneself from engaging into some activity/negative of continue...Aahhhhhh.

Also, I'd have polished the language a little more, but I am already in office for an extra half hour, and want to go home! So

Cya, Au Revior, Good bye, Sayonara(misspelt I guess), kal milte hain, falya melooya(konkani for dummies)... insert telugu, mandarin, tamil, german, kantonese, malayalam et al.

PS-2: It is not mandatory to smile after reading this line.

PS-3: You did smile, didn't you. :P

Monday, February 23, 2009

My first marathon

Whew! that's one more thing ticked off from my list of things to do before I die. That list is pretty long waise. The other recent ones I ticked off were, fooling a large section of an intelligent society for a year(I did that in my 3rd year at BITS), get a massage from a massuese(??), improve my memory and a few more that I can't remember.

So it was 7.30 and I was at the F1 pit lane, the race started from there(there there F1 fans, I know life is unfair, but some of us-like me- are just better, smarter and more handsome than others-like you, so go ahead and bag your head on the wall, it will all be alright once you return from MedC). There were like a million cyclists, totally appropriate and overly loud music(they were playing Nelly Furtado's 'Say It Right' for Heavens(or Kashmir* for atheists) sake(I know the Kashmir joke was criminal but sorry folks, I've already typed it)), a curiously accented announcer(his voice was a mix between a totla and a popat) whose jokes would fail to make Siddhu laugh... oh wait, I'm sorry, I think he already is.

The race was great, I mean for the people who were racing. I was more like a spectator, with a great seat of the action. Though the participants weren't allowed to get along music players(by which logic I should've been allowed) I had plenty of music to hear, the WOOs of the woo-girls stationed to cheer us up and boy! did they succeed, every time I saw them, I was like standing on the pedals and pumping hard, and as soon as they were out of sight, back to pedaling just to keep balance, then there were the whooshes and wheens of overtaking cyclists, which btw was an extreme test of my self-confidence, if I had any less, I'd have jumped and drowned into the Singapore River. Then of course, the chirping of birds, rustling of leaves, and internal self loathing at watching 50 year-olds overtaking you. But no sweat, there is always the escape route, the excuse theory. This theory states that, in any case of utter failure, the feeling of badness, is inversely proportional to the number of excuses you make(however atrocious and irrelevant) to justify your performance. Being an active follower of this theory, my mind was set to work even during the race, and that's my excuse no.1, I was thinking so much with my over-active oversmart brain, that the blood flow was insufficient for my legs, hence I didn't perform optimally.

Some more follow,
2. There were too many photographers on the way and I didn't want to deny them a prize shot.
3. I started slow to save my energy for the end, but since there weren't any signboards of the no. of kms left, by the time I was ready for the push, I had already been through 39km.
4. There were too many woo girls and all the blood that my heart pumped went to you-know-where.
5. I didn't want the others to feel demoralized.
6. I did it for the children( a very versatile excuse, fits every occasion)
7. I was too busy admiring the countryside, to do any serious riding. The others have no idea what they've lost.
8. Its not about winning or losing, its about the spirit of participation.(my all time favourite, never fails)
9. I was just warming up for my next marathon, can't put all your effort the first time right?
10. I came first from behind(lol, this is one we used to tell each other as kids!)

If you want more, just use your imagination, and me, this theory works. Try it!

Just after crossing the finish line, the sun came out... (there's another one, 11. My Kryptonian energy cells never got activated) and the kids race started. They did give us all gold medals(see excuse no. 8) and we took all sorts of pics, from the pit lane :P

Apparently, Tiger Balm was a sponsor of the event and they had professional masseurs providing FREE massages to all those interested and to Indians (that was a joke, so giggle) Needless to say I went straight ot that counter and got a coupon.

During the massage, I did get reminded of that touching sad movie of a lonely guy who finds his true love while getting a massage. I think I need to watch it today, truly do. Seriously man, awesome movie.

Ahhh, I am getting distracted, so suffice to say that it was a wonderful experience and I thoroughly enjoyed it- although my extremely desensitized groin area would beg to differ. All in all, it was a nice awakening of my preparation level for the real test, the Sundown Marathon. There I have to actually run 42km, and though my groin area would be pleased not to be in the hot seat, I hope the rest of me doesn't crumple like that villain robot in Terminator 2 after the now California Governor shotguns him(Okay! that was seriously bad, sorry I didn't sleep enough last night)

*For those who didn't get this joke, isn't it said that the Kashmir Valley is heaven on Earth. If you still didn't get it, thank you for voting for me.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A tribute to PS-II

During office hours, one of the things I do to keep from succumbing to the seduction of the Goddess of slumber, is repeatedly checking my mail and clicking on the Stats link of my blog. The last couple of days this number has been dwindling :( I guess my readers have moved on to bigger more serious stuff, to the world of Acads and CG, B-plans and APOGEE projects (btw APOGEE is an acronym, and is spelt with capitals!!) But what can I say? Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes its the simple funny joys of life chasing butterflies, staring at the sky, reading and following a blog that proves more fruitful, yes even in the long run.

It's these little things that make life worth living, that make you smile before going to bed and make you look forward to each new sunrise. 

We BITSians are severealy critical of what we have, and constantly point fingers at the system and the people running it. But we also deny ourselves of the truth, that this is exactly how-in the 'real' world- things work, and exactly how you work things.

Living in the comforts of BITSian hostel I never realized the joys of travelling, of those fleeting moments when I was watching a rerun while my friends were out playing cricket. My idea of fun, was not my own, but of what I thought would give me pleasure- movies, games, sitcoms. When I count back my days in BITS, the moments are the times when I truly did what my heart desired, my first and second year basketball trials, my forays into politics, joys of photoshop, the tenuous running bug that struck me late in psentisem, blogging obb et al.

Life stood still, giving me an opportunity to do whatever I may like. And what did I do, nothing. I had always wanted to learn a musical instrument, to be a fitness freak, to read everyday, to run a marathon but...

I won't deny that I was told this before, and I didn't listen to it myself. Nor is it a coincidence that I am saying it now, long after I no longer have the decision to make. I do not want to seat myself on a pedestal, having attained enlightenment, to be worshipped by some and stoned by others. I did know this, when I was there. And made the choices, do I regret them now, yes, but do I have the right to regret, no! 

Everything you do or rather you don't do is a matter of choice, over which you have control, may not be fully, but whatever you have is and should be good enough, else you're even more worthless than you think, if you run away from your choices.  

All I am saying is - realize that the choice is yours, do what you want. If you want to study, go on. If low marks affect your mental, physical and parental balance, go ahead. But keep in mind that the choice is yours, own up to it and be a man (figuratively speaking that is ... I don't want to hurt the feelings of my large female readership :) ) Don't curse the system, and the people, that there were too many tuts or this or that, that you had department work blah blah blah. You have work because you made the choice, and if you're not strong enough to stick to your guns, go find another body to rot. Your soul is wasting a perfectly good human life, the line is long, and there are a lot more willing to take your place, and do good.

All this may seems totally indifferent to the title of this post, but it is this time at PS-II, here in Singapore, that I am able to truly gauge the value of it all. All that I couldn't do in BITS I try and fit it in here. I am cycling a 42 km marathon this Sunday, have booked tickets for my first concert, that of Coldplay, on the 23rd of March. I am learning the guitar at home after work, keep a book handy during my long bus rides, am running another marathon for 42km later and practising everyday for it,  am keeping a pesudo-daily diary, am learning stuff to design and upload my own website (watch out soon, but please don't be too expectant), and most importantly I am being a good engineer at work. 

I no longer watch TV, and the many series on my 1TB harddisc are all but gathering dust. Something during PS, during my stay here, seeing how people are totally into their work and family lives and fight to follow their hobbies, made me realize this. Time is precious, but its utility is inversely proportional to its availability!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The third amazing thing to happen to me..

Sorry folks, for taking so much time here. I know you must be thinking ki saala yeh, bada famous blogger bana gaya, isliye bhaav kha raha hai. But what can i say guys, I guess it just happens when you're this awesome.

Anyways, before you rip your hair out and pledge to rip mine too, I shall reveal the third, most amazing thing that happenned. It will take some time, because its been a while. Hmmm... well... ahh... No... hehe... Yesss, now I remember. Ohh, HAHA, lol. It's cool. Btw, you are not going to believe it (I might as well put the bet right now), because it'll just seem like one more of those things, where though nothing really happenned, I just hype it up to gain more leverage. Being the only reporter I can use it to my advantage. This is not one of those instances, and so I am going to write as though an innocent bystander was watching whatever happenned. (Waise I don't do- whatever I just said ki I didn't do here-as a rule)

Here goes (just to remind you, this is from a bystanders poiny of view, this guy-let's call him, or rather her, yeah let this be a girl, named... Emerald(totally random okay, just a fictional name from Midnight's Children(you should read it btw, it's awesome)):

Fine then, let Emerald take over(boy, this is hard re, how do girl's think... let's just give it a try)

I was walking along Jalan Bukit Mehra, after my dance classes. I am learning ballet. I've always been interes..... (insert boring crap about childhood dreams, inspirations and an older neighbour who had moved in from Alabama and blah blah blah) I was waiting for a friend who was supposed to pick me up, but got a call that she'd take some more time with her... ahem friend and that I should have dinner, so that we don't get too late. That !@#$%, what does she think of herself(crap again, but offensive)

I look around for a place to eat, and the only place I see open is a cheap Indian place called, Brinda's. I enter and see a simple place, the food is cheap, and without looking I could guess that there were only Indians here. How surprising! Cheap Indians and their cheap food.

I order dosa, its the only indian thing that doesn't have too may calories, the rest of the menu was atrocious. As I was waiting for my order, I see a group of 3 guys entering, smiling and joking with each other noisily. The waiters seemed to know these guys. Heh! Bloody Indians. No manners at all. They were all in shorts and shoes, and covered in sweat, like they've run a marathon. I hear Indians have very less stamina, so it'll probably be more like 3-4 km.

But my eyes are drawn towards, this one guy. He was tall, about 6 feet, short hair, had a dazzling smile but a slightly weird voice. He looked like a film actor, and was looking in better shape than the others. While they were panting, this guy was still stretching. Guess he had better stamina.

I sat at the table opposite them, out of curiosity. They all ordered lots, and ate like they had never seen food. This guy was eating with his hands, how awesome!

We finished about the same time, or rather I lingered about a little with my coke. As they left I followed to catch a last glance. Just then a black man(much older) approaches this guy. He had also eaten there, and was there with his group of friends(same aged). He whispers into his ears, "That girl wants to say something to you" pointing to his friend, who seeing this shies away blushing.

"She thinks you're handsome" he said as he tried to call her back. Surprisingly this guy instead of feeling embarrassed, just smiles. The balck guy now asks him to follow him out, and this guy does so. I follow them too, just to see what happens next. The girl is now running away laughing. Seeing this our fellow, not the black one, shouts to her, "Thanks". The black guy is clearly impressed with this fellow's sporting nature and shakes his hand, and leaves but not before saying, "She's my girl" and then follows her to the cab. This guy is just standing there smiling, and I am totally shocked myself.

Just then I see my friend, waving to me, in a cab. What !@#$%^& timing, I just grab my bag and run into the car but not until I get a final glance.


PS: Rules are meant to be broken, but seriously I didn't break any here.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Too much for today!

Usually, I don't blog from the office(I have in the past, but that was unusual). Without saying much, I'd just like to state that I am finally finding some footing with the work assigned to me, and I guess I can start being productive(in contrast to sleeping in weird and innovative positions, that to an onlooker would look like someone thinking deeply)

Today I involved and didn't feel drowsy even during the customary half hour drowse-period at 2. So in recognition of my efforts, I have decided to give myself a gift, that of some time off. Its now 5.30 and as you might have guessed, I am spending this off-time blogging.

So much for that. During the last few days, curious things have happenned to me, and a curious me has happenned to a few things. Let me do it ascendingly(that again is a matter of opinion, but this is my blog so buzz off with your comments)

I broke my third law in Singapore yesterday. For most of my readers, this may seem hardly something to think about, least of all to declare proudly to the world. But you see in Singapore the system is different, and the natives will not cross an empty alley, if there's a red light, even if the farthest vehicle they can see is their own. My first law I broke, when I travelled without a ticket(mind you the fine for this is about 50 dollars, and yes surprise checks do happen, surprisingly) Nothing much to elaborate, it was an eventless affair.

Next I stole something. Now here the fine is in the number of bones cracked, and eyes bruised, which from what I have heard, are always by some weird coincidence in multiples of three. I will not disclose details other than that this happenned in Little India, because frankly I am scared. The item that I stole, I still don't wear, out of fear, which basically makes the theft pointless. Nonetheless, I am proud. I do intend to return it though(??)... Naah, just joking. The third one, the one that occurred yesterday, was another ticketless travel. Now this is about the time you start getting bored, but then you remember that I said ki the events would be in ascending order, your curiosity is aroused, you feel a tickly sensation, you have something to do but you want to go on reading. So... read on.

The second, happenned over a couple of days. You see I am someone who can't lead a monotonous life, and the moment it looks that things are getting a little too predictable, I do something weird, even at the cost of risking my own dignity, which was what happenned in this case.

I made a wikipedia entry of myself and said so in facebook.

Now before you go on to wikipedia, in an attempt to anonymously crap all over my entry with impunity, let me save your employer or the institute(depending on whether you are in PS or at BITS) some bandwidth. The entry has now been deleted. Let me tell you vistaar mein ki what happenned.

As I said I made my entry, but I didn't lie. I mean, I didn't make myself to be some great weirdo, olympic gold winner, cape wearing, wardrobe malfunctioned crusader. For me it was more of the act of doing it rather than the content. I didn't check the entry all day, I did get a few messages that it was a nice weird thing to do...blah blah blah.

But in the evening I get a message saying that I had been pwned, so I search for the entry, and it had been edited beyond recognition. Of course, most of you can guess that the edit had several references to my historical, geographical and physical aspects. Some were true most were invented. The page underwent some 3-4 edits I think. Now just for fun, I made a nice big reply(it has to be nice, coz I made it, and you can't be judgemental because you can't see it, so buzz off again... if you haven't done that already). While in bed, I was getting weird ideas, of what may happen, what I'd do, how I'd set an example to people who vandalise wikipedia, all that sort of stuff(don't laugh you idiots, we all do these things, whenever the slightest opportunity to frrl important emerges, I am only just admitting it, and what are you waiting for, don't you know how to buzz off)

Next morning I wake up and find my entry deleted by some important fellow at wikipedia. In an attempt to gain whatever else I could, I declared this too on facebook. hehe.

The whole episode was entertaining, but I just want to thell the editors, that if you wanted some more fun, I would have given it to you. But by using language, that would ensure deletion, I don't know what you hoped to achieve. I mean, if you had written something funny, I would have surely replied sportingly, but all you have done is made a fool of yourself. I an not angry, scared or anything, just confused.

I really want to tell you about the final item, but its time to leave. So I guess later. But I will do the right thing and release you from my spell. Go and have a good sleep. Bye.

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I am Arjun P. Kamath, and I am a nice guy to know.