During office hours, one of the things I do to keep from succumbing to the seduction of the Goddess of slumber, is repeatedly checking my mail and clicking on the Stats link of my blog. The last couple of days this number has been dwindling :( I guess my readers have moved on to bigger more serious stuff, to the world of Acads and CG, B-plans and APOGEE projects (btw APOGEE is an acronym, and is spelt with capitals!!) But what can I say? Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes its the simple funny joys of life chasing butterflies, staring at the sky, reading and following a blog that proves more fruitful, yes even in the long run.
It's these little things that make life worth living, that make you smile before going to bed and make you look forward to each new sunrise.
We BITSians are severealy critical of what we have, and constantly point fingers at the system and the people running it. But we also deny ourselves of the truth, that this is exactly how-in the 'real' world- things work, and exactly how you work things.
Living in the comforts of BITSian hostel I never realized the joys of travelling, of those fleeting moments when I was watching a rerun while my friends were out playing cricket. My idea of fun, was not my own, but of what I thought would give me pleasure- movies, games, sitcoms. When I count back my days in BITS, the moments are the times when I truly did what my heart desired, my first and second year basketball trials, my forays into politics, joys of photoshop, the tenuous running bug that struck me late in psentisem, blogging obb et al.
Life stood still, giving me an opportunity to do whatever I may like. And what did I do, nothing. I had always wanted to learn a musical instrument, to be a fitness freak, to read everyday, to run a marathon but...
I won't deny that I was told this before, and I didn't listen to it myself. Nor is it a coincidence that I am saying it now, long after I no longer have the decision to make. I do not want to seat myself on a pedestal, having attained enlightenment, to be worshipped by some and stoned by others. I did know this, when I was there. And made the choices, do I regret them now, yes, but do I have the right to regret, no!
Everything you do or rather you don't do is a matter of choice, over which you have control, may not be fully, but whatever you have is and should be good enough, else you're even more worthless than you think, if you run away from your choices.
All I am saying is - realize that the choice is yours, do what you want. If you want to study, go on. If low marks affect your mental, physical and parental balance, go ahead. But keep in mind that the choice is yours, own up to it and be a man (figuratively speaking that is ... I don't want to hurt the feelings of my large female readership :) ) Don't curse the system, and the people, that there were too many tuts or this or that, that you had department work blah blah blah. You have work because you made the choice, and if you're not strong enough to stick to your guns, go find another body to rot. Your soul is wasting a perfectly good human life, the line is long, and there are a lot more willing to take your place, and do good.
All this may seems totally indifferent to the title of this post, but it is this time at PS-II, here in Singapore, that I am able to truly gauge the value of it all. All that I couldn't do in BITS I try and fit it in here. I am cycling a 42 km marathon this Sunday, have booked tickets for my first concert, that of Coldplay, on the 23rd of March. I am learning the guitar at home after work, keep a book handy during my long bus rides, am running another marathon for 42km later and practising everyday for it, am keeping a pesudo-daily diary, am learning stuff to design and upload my own website (watch out soon, but please don't be too expectant), and most importantly I am being a good engineer at work.
I no longer watch TV, and the many series on my 1TB harddisc are all but gathering dust. Something during PS, during my stay here, seeing how people are totally into their work and family lives and fight to follow their hobbies, made me realize this. Time is precious, but its utility is inversely proportional to its availability!
