Saturday, June 9, 2012

Random post on randomness... not really

random cow in field
This goes out in deep-felt condolence to my brethren and sistren (I am no sexist), however few in number, who cringe at blogposts, articles, songs, amazing facts (seriously?!) and photographs of shoes, books, birds, articles, clothes, bottles that are labelled as random. I am with you, my friends. Let's fight this injustice together.

Secondly, I am completely bewildered and enraged by the mass misusage (now that would be a cool word) of the word 'random'. You want to know what's really random? Go to your facebook wall (of course, I know you're on facebook, even the puppy downstairs is on facebook) and re-read your wall posts. That's random! Or better, simply chant 'random' in your mind until it loses its meaning.

table fan randomly rotating
I checked on what exactly the word 'random' meant just to be sure that I am not writing this post randomly. For those smiling, the joke's on you. I used the word incorrectly. Random means "Having no definite aim or purpose". So, that picture of you wearing sunglasses and standing moronically with your hands in your pockets,  your hair carefully combed, your weight more on your left foot next to the sculpture that nobody-least of all you- knows about or even cares to know, is not aimless or without definite purpose (though we could argue on whether the purpose is fulfilled) Nor is that sculpture that its artist spent days working on.

However much you may try and hopelessly try again, the word random does not possess the qualities that the all-too-familiar four-letter word claims to. Of course, I've heard that 'Indian' professor's profound lecture on the grammatical versatility of 'fuck'. Although funny, it is silly and stupid. I would have believed it, when I was 14!

At least the Untitled Albums are better. You meticulously select and upload pictures but cannot find the time to say what they're about is perfectly acceptable. Label them as 'random' and I pulverize you mentally like the Hulk did Loki. Not-so-random fact: Robert Downey Jr. played the role of Charlie Chaplain in Chaplain(1992). Sorry ladies!

It's not just this. It is sad that many write like it's against the law to spell correctly. There's almost a pride that emanates from each 'hv' or 'dnt'. This is not an SMS and I am not reading.

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I am Arjun P. Kamath, and I am a nice guy to know.