LIFE-a series of patterns

I know you usually come here expecting, some silly, sarcastic, pun-infused post replete with snide remarks and innuendos, that would bring a smile to you weather-beaten, test-striken, sleep-deprived, mess-nourished, unsatisfied, boring selves. Waise me too- I too often begin with something funny, potentially extraordinary, ticklingly humourous, unchronicled therefore (thankfully for me) unverifiable incident/experience/conversation/observation in mind, but sometimes, my expressively intelligent, uncannily observant, brilliantly thoughtful and unfairly gifted mind, notices/comes across/feels/ponders over something and I am obliged to report it.

Have you ever wondered/thought about/pondered over/been pensive about the fact that your life, existence, being, self could be just a series of patterns/a kaleidoscope with the same parts as everybosy else only marginally different/just one measly permuttion of the giant chess board of cosmos. Think about it, wonder over it, deduce it or just read on. Everything that you have done, thought, dreamt, typed, coded or messaged are doing, thinking, dreaming, typing, coding or messaging or will do, think, dream, type, code or message has at some point in history, at some level already been done, thought, dreamt, typed, coded or messaged by someone else, in a terrifyingly similar manner. Its Deja Vu, but at a whole new level.

It is imperative/essential/necessary/important to not look at this theory/notion/idea/thought experiment from extreme points of view. That would be foolish/stupid/silly/like running-away-from-the-truth. If you think from too high a level of abstraction(lingo of an electronics engineer working with VLSI), you may retort/disagree/comeback/repudiate that your 4 years of college life have been different from that of anybody else/unique/extraordinary/deviod of patterns, that today you did it with your left hand, while watching this, and were turned towards that direction etc etc.

From too low a point of view, it seems hardly relevant/pertinent/worthy-of-observation/not trash. Of course, someone, somewhere has thought of this way of playing cricket, has written this exact same sentence, has twittered this exact same message and so on.

Think midway/halfway through/average-it-out, and it starts getting creepy/uncomfortable/annoying/irritatingly noticeable. The uniqueness of our being seem to get threatened/come under question/come under the scanner. Life seems like a black box, a computer program, an algorithm which though different has common patterns found in everybody's life.

So what am I getting at/coming to/what is my motivation/intent? Given that I have told you this, or that you had thought of it before and dismissed it, just ponder/ruminate/think/look over it. Does this make your attitude towards life any different/does it alter your actions/does it change your thought process?

I am not saying/proclaiming/ideating/implying that everything that can be done has been done(though in a way it is true... think string theory level) but just that does this realisation change anything or mean anything at all? Is this subconscious/conscious desire to be the first in something, just-one-thing, what drives achievers to achieve, dreamers to realize, and thinkers to think, inventors to invent, electronics engineers to imagine, A7ites to... (sorry can't think of anything they do)? Is this what pushed the protagonist in the true-story-turned-into-aweosme-must-watch-movie 'Into the wild' leave behind everything he had worked for/dreamt of/achieved/gained in life in search of the 'truth'?(The movie does imply differently, but its just the director's/sreenplay-writer's/producer's/story-writer's point of view, and this is my own(just-thought-of-a-minute-ago) theory)

Okay, this is a deep deep question, at least for me? And if you dare to admit it. it probably is for you too. Do I have an answer/reply/solution/life-altering-deduction? Not really. But how do I feel/behave/fight-back/resist-the-urge-to-do-an-'Into the Wild'-myself? For one, I have begun playing with patterns (for my observant fellows), in an attempt to defy/deny/resist/fight the law/theory/notion/idea.

However on a serious/observant/unsarcastic/non-funny note, I believe, one should think about it, yes ruminate and sit over it, but not let it affect you too much. After all, if the theory/idea/notion/thought experiment is wholly/truly/more-than-partly true/correct/verifiable/undeniable, you'd have read this post many times over, and I and many others would have written this several times before. But/however/as a matter of fact the effect that this idea has had on me, and maybe you too, at this time, at this position of clock hands/this position of the calendar sun/this pattern of bits in the code of the digital clock on the botton right of your windows desktop(or wherever you put it in ubuntu/fedora/leopard/xubuntu), in the room that you are sitting in right now, this amalgamation of latitude and longitude and relative positionn of the earth with respect to the sun has never been felt by either you or me, or anybody else.

A t-shirt quote comes to mind, clinging to the periphery of my mind, knocking at the door of my imagination.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE UNIQUE, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!

PS-1: For the record, no thesaurus was referrred to, peeked into, sifted through, or physically used in any conceivable manner, during the typing, writing, thinking, brooding over or publishing of this post, piece, unpoetic verse, set of paragraphs... ok I'm tired now. Tired/exhausted/brain dead/linguistically deprived/mentally stressed... ok cut it out. Cut it out/stop/prevent oneself from engaging into some activity/negative of continue...Aahhhhhh.

Also, I'd have polished the language a little more, but I am already in office for an extra half hour, and want to go home! So

Cya, Au Revior, Good bye, Sayonara(misspelt I guess), kal milte hain, falya melooya(konkani for dummies)... insert telugu, mandarin, tamil, german, kantonese, malayalam et al.

PS-2: It is not mandatory to smile after reading this line.

PS-3: You did smile, didn't you. :P

My first marathon

Whew! that's one more thing ticked off from my list of things to do before I die. That list is pretty long waise. The other recent ones I ticked off were, fooling a large section of an intelligent society for a year(I did that in my 3rd year at BITS), get a massage from a massuese(??), improve my memory and a few more that I can't remember.

So it was 7.30 and I was at the F1 pit lane, the race started from there(there there F1 fans, I know life is unfair, but some of us-like me- are just better, smarter and more handsome than others-like you, so go ahead and bag your head on the wall, it will all be alright once you return from MedC). There were like a million cyclists, totally appropriate and overly loud music(they were playing Nelly Furtado's 'Say It Right' for Heavens(or Kashmir* for atheists) sake(I know the Kashmir joke was criminal but sorry folks, I've already typed it)), a curiously accented announcer(his voice was a mix between a totla and a popat) whose jokes would fail to make Siddhu laugh... oh wait, I'm sorry, I think he already is.

The race was great, I mean for the people who were racing. I was more like a spectator, with a great seat of the action. Though the participants weren't allowed to get along music players(by which logic I should've been allowed) I had plenty of music to hear, the WOOs of the woo-girls stationed to cheer us up and boy! did they succeed, every time I saw them, I was like standing on the pedals and pumping hard, and as soon as they were out of sight, back to pedaling just to keep balance, then there were the whooshes and wheens of overtaking cyclists, which btw was an extreme test of my self-confidence, if I had any less, I'd have jumped and drowned into the Singapore River. Then of course, the chirping of birds, rustling of leaves, and internal self loathing at watching 50 year-olds overtaking you. But no sweat, there is always the escape route, the excuse theory. This theory states that, in any case of utter failure, the feeling of badness, is inversely proportional to the number of excuses you make(however atrocious and irrelevant) to justify your performance. Being an active follower of this theory, my mind was set to work even during the race, and that's my excuse no.1, I was thinking so much with my over-active oversmart brain, that the blood flow was insufficient for my legs, hence I didn't perform optimally.

Some more follow,
2. There were too many photographers on the way and I didn't want to deny them a prize shot.
3. I started slow to save my energy for the end, but since there weren't any signboards of the no. of kms left, by the time I was ready for the push, I had already been through 39km.
4. There were too many woo girls and all the blood that my heart pumped went to you-know-where.
5. I didn't want the others to feel demoralized.
6. I did it for the children( a very versatile excuse, fits every occasion)
7. I was too busy admiring the countryside, to do any serious riding. The others have no idea what they've lost.
8. Its not about winning or losing, its about the spirit of participation.(my all time favourite, never fails)
9. I was just warming up for my next marathon, can't put all your effort the first time right?
10. I came first from behind(lol, this is one we used to tell each other as kids!)

If you want more, just use your imagination, and me, this theory works. Try it!

Just after crossing the finish line, the sun came out... (there's another one, 11. My Kryptonian energy cells never got activated) and the kids race started. They did give us all gold medals(see excuse no. 8) and we took all sorts of pics, from the pit lane :P

Apparently, Tiger Balm was a sponsor of the event and they had professional masseurs providing FREE massages to all those interested and to Indians (that was a joke, so giggle) Needless to say I went straight ot that counter and got a coupon.

During the massage, I did get reminded of that touching sad movie of a lonely guy who finds his true love while getting a massage. I think I need to watch it today, truly do. Seriously man, awesome movie.

Ahhh, I am getting distracted, so suffice to say that it was a wonderful experience and I thoroughly enjoyed it- although my extremely desensitized groin area would beg to differ. All in all, it was a nice awakening of my preparation level for the real test, the Sundown Marathon. There I have to actually run 42km, and though my groin area would be pleased not to be in the hot seat, I hope the rest of me doesn't crumple like that villain robot in Terminator 2 after the now California Governor shotguns him(Okay! that was seriously bad, sorry I didn't sleep enough last night)

*For those who didn't get this joke, isn't it said that the Kashmir Valley is heaven on Earth. If you still didn't get it, thank you for voting for me.

A tribute to PS-II

During office hours, one of the things I do to keep from succumbing to the seduction of the Goddess of slumber, is repeatedly checking my mail and clicking on the Stats link of my blog. The last couple of days this number has been dwindling :( I guess my readers have moved on to bigger more serious stuff, to the world of Acads and CG, B-plans and APOGEE projects (btw APOGEE is an acronym, and is spelt with capitals!!) But what can I say? Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes its the simple funny joys of life chasing butterflies, staring at the sky, reading and following a blog that proves more fruitful, yes even in the long run.

It's these little things that make life worth living, that make you smile before going to bed and make you look forward to each new sunrise. 

We BITSians are severealy critical of what we have, and constantly point fingers at the system and the people running it. But we also deny ourselves of the truth, that this is exactly how-in the 'real' world- things work, and exactly how you work things.

Living in the comforts of BITSian hostel I never realized the joys of travelling, of those fleeting moments when I was watching a rerun while my friends were out playing cricket. My idea of fun, was not my own, but of what I thought would give me pleasure- movies, games, sitcoms. When I count back my days in BITS, the moments are the times when I truly did what my heart desired, my first and second year basketball trials, my forays into politics, joys of photoshop, the tenuous running bug that struck me late in psentisem, blogging obb et al.

Life stood still, giving me an opportunity to do whatever I may like. And what did I do, nothing. I had always wanted to learn a musical instrument, to be a fitness freak, to read everyday, to run a marathon but...

I won't deny that I was told this before, and I didn't listen to it myself. Nor is it a coincidence that I am saying it now, long after I no longer have the decision to make. I do not want to seat myself on a pedestal, having attained enlightenment, to be worshipped by some and stoned by others. I did know this, when I was there. And made the choices, do I regret them now, yes, but do I have the right to regret, no! 

Everything you do or rather you don't do is a matter of choice, over which you have control, may not be fully, but whatever you have is and should be good enough, else you're even more worthless than you think, if you run away from your choices.  

All I am saying is - realize that the choice is yours, do what you want. If you want to study, go on. If low marks affect your mental, physical and parental balance, go ahead. But keep in mind that the choice is yours, own up to it and be a man (figuratively speaking that is ... I don't want to hurt the feelings of my large female readership :) ) Don't curse the system, and the people, that there were too many tuts or this or that, that you had department work blah blah blah. You have work because you made the choice, and if you're not strong enough to stick to your guns, go find another body to rot. Your soul is wasting a perfectly good human life, the line is long, and there are a lot more willing to take your place, and do good.

All this may seems totally indifferent to the title of this post, but it is this time at PS-II, here in Singapore, that I am able to truly gauge the value of it all. All that I couldn't do in BITS I try and fit it in here. I am cycling a 42 km marathon this Sunday, have booked tickets for my first concert, that of Coldplay, on the 23rd of March. I am learning the guitar at home after work, keep a book handy during my long bus rides, am running another marathon for 42km later and practising everyday for it,  am keeping a pesudo-daily diary, am learning stuff to design and upload my own website (watch out soon, but please don't be too expectant), and most importantly I am being a good engineer at work. 

I no longer watch TV, and the many series on my 1TB harddisc are all but gathering dust. Something during PS, during my stay here, seeing how people are totally into their work and family lives and fight to follow their hobbies, made me realize this. Time is precious, but its utility is inversely proportional to its availability!